Plot: This starts off with wicked action  You immediately introduce the characters and have a nice pace for the reader to observe the situation. Nic and his brother and sister are trying to run away from the vamps. However, we are clueless as to why they are running, what they want of Sammy, and how they got into that situation in the first place. I would suggest to elaborate on those particular questions. Other than that, I loved the action you described, the suspense at what will happen next! Great hook at the end. Now Nic has a vamp in his head....oh the horror! 
Characters: Don't have much of an idea of what your main characters look like. Sammy, Neil, Nicolas...all i see is a blurry figure. The vamps and werewolves, I have a better description. Try to add in the color of Nic's eyes, or his hair (if its long enough) covering his eyes as he swivels to confront the vampire.
Reference: Modern I'm assuming. But not sure.
Style/Voice: A little shaky on the tense. I got confused at some points, not sure which is an inner thought or a mistype. Things are coming from Nic's POV. You do a great job on settling that argument 
Setting: You describe the action very well, but the surroundings are very dim. More description is needed. Does the place smell? Where are they? What does the room look like? Do rats scuttle around? Is it dusty? Do the vamp's breath stink? Does sweat drizzle into Nic's eyes?
Grammar: Below
My Opinion: I actually like this story! lol. Love the title, it really caught my interest. Plus, you had a very nice-paced chapter. I like the name Nicolas. Kinda hot  ! Sigh, oh well. He's just a character sadly. And how he has a vamp in his head....ooh! Drama!
Vamp Napped
Chapter One
We have to get Sammy out of here. In the previous sentence, you talked in present tense. Not sure if this is an inner thought or 'have' is supposed to be 'had' instead. A stifled growl came from behind me; a vampire named Damien was ready to jump. Neil got there just in time with a piece of wood he broke off a chair and he hit Damien over the head with it. The vampire fell flat on his back.
My big brother Neil took the stairs two at a time, period here, not comma “Nic hand Sammy to me and let’s get out of here before others get in.”
We were passing through the living room when the stench of wet dog hit us. Two of the world’s ugliest werewolves were blocking the way to the first floor. Neil stepped back with Sammy as I stepped forward, period here, not comma “Hello ladies how are we today? Oh! Colby how’s the pups, I mean children.”
Colby, the one with the shiny white, sharp teeth and brown fur growled. The black haired wolf boy, Jason, stepped up to the plate.
“Ohcomma sorry Jason I didn’t recognize you with a tail.” Haha. That's funny.
Both of them leaped high and we dove low going right under them. We were off, running as fast as possible. Colby and Jason must be stalling till the other vampires get to us; otherwise, we would have had a problem.
We were on the first floor and there was only one corner standing in the way of our escape.
The next thing I knew I was on the ground staring up at the adult vampire that has been after us for a while now.
I couldn’t get up; my head was spinning from being hit by a rock hard vampire. I new knew Neil had seen saw instead of 'had seen'? me go down and was hidden somewhere with Sammy, I'd start a new sentence here, or else use a semicolon. we have had to keep her safe… we promised.
“Hello Nicolas.”
“Stefan,period here” I tried to stand but when I did, the floor came up to meet me again.
I could here hear someone coming into the room and Stefan reluctantly lookedup. I took this time to look as well, at who had entered the room.
It was Damien and in his arms was Sammy. I froze completely I think this is an unnecessary word. Better to keep things simple . Stefan must have heard me stop breathing because the moment I did his head snapped in my direction. He was standing there not even listening to the babbling vampire in front of him commabut instead was watching me wondering why the sudden change.
Damien held Sammy out away from him as if he didn’t want to ketch ketch? her five-year-old weakness. Stefan doesn’t didn't even know Sammy exists existed; we always kept her safe.
I didn’t care if Stefan was watching watched instead of 'was watching'? mestart a new sentence here or use a hyphen I can’t couldn't protect Sammy if she’s dead.
Sammy looked like a little kitten surrounded by big junkyard dogs. Then her eyes landed on me and she struggled to get out of Damien’s hands. That’s when Stefan looked toward Damien and that’s when I made my move. I got up as fast as possible and tackled Damien with all my strength while trying to keep him from falling on Sammy.
When Damien hit the floor, he immediately let Sammy go. I grabbed for a wooded chair and smashed it on the floor. I had five seconds to look for the biggest piece I could find and hit him in the exact same place Neil had fifteen minutes ago. He hit the floor and before I knew what was happening, another vamp grabbed Sammy and I had my hands held behind my back.
Sammy started to cry commabut I couldn’t loosen the vamp’s grip on my arm.
“Now Nicolas commait’s not nice to hit people with sticks. Didn’t your parents teach you anything? Now apologize to Damien for so rudely knocking him down.” When I didn’t say anything, Stefan tightened his grip on my arms. “So you don’t want to apologize.” He looked at Sammy, “Then I guess your little friend can suffer your punishment. But don’t worry I’ll let you watch.” He pulled me over to Sammy so that I was looking into her eyescomma then he nodded to the vamp holding her.
The vampire was just about to sink his teeth into my baby sister and there’s nothing I can could do about it. Wait, they had been to busy with Sammy and I that they had forgotten Neil, who was probably waiting for a signal.
I knew he was watching, “Neil now!”
Neil came running up rite right behind the vamp and Sammy; he hit the vamp over the head with the same piece of wood I had used on Damien.
“Stop!” Stefan had one arm holding my hands behind my back while the other was across my stomach holding me off the ground.
Everything froze I'd suggest a new sentence be started here even time seemed to stop at Stefan’s command, “Now you will come quietly or I’ll bite him.” Stefan held his teeth to my throat. Neil was obviously having a hard time finding a plan.
Neil was the brainy guy in the family. He could come up with tons of plans and pranks to play on the neighborhood nerds. Sometimes I help helped, but normally Neil comes came up with the plan and my skills make made them work.
Why now of all times does he not have a plan? This could be an inner thought for Nic!
I could see the look on Neil’s face semicolon or start a new sentence here he was going to chance it. Before I could tell him not to he charged Stefan and all three of us hit the floor.
I was even dizzier than before; I couldn’t get up at all. Neil and Sammy were grabbed and before I knew it, so was I, only I was being pulled into another room. It was difficult to walk and Stefan was half carryinghyphenhalf pulling me into this room with only one door. It was too dark to tell much else.
I was pulled a little farther into the room comma then when he let me go I fell strait to the floor, far too weak to sit up.
Stefan lit some candles and the room seemed to glow. I found it difficult to keep my eyes open.
Then Stefan was kneeling knelt instead of 'was kneeling?' beside me pulling me to him. I tried to push against his chest but he was stronger than I was and instead pulled me till I was in his lap and again pressed his teeth into my neck.
Pain soared threw my body as I became weaker and weaker. Then something changed and I was actually enjoying the firm protective grasp that held me in place. It was like I knew I wasn’t in danger.
Why would you be in danger Nic?
I hadn’t noticed but Stefan had stopped now and I looked up at him. He showed no sines of having said anything.
Why do you think I would hurt you?
That was a stupid question he’s only been stocking me for months now.
But have I hurt you?
Stefan with his blondish hair and blue eyes were watching me closely, or waiting for my next thought.
I have been following you but I have never hurt you.
You just tried to eat me!
Did I? Then why are you still alive?
I turned away from his questioning eyes. I didn’t have to answer him anyway. This is probably just my imagination, but I still can’t figure out why I’m not trying to get away from Stefan who must have been trying to kill me.
Was I?
Get out of my head! Why didn't I run when I had the chance? Oh, ya maybe because I didn’t get a chance.
You have the chance now.
Just then I noticed my strength had returned, so why is it that I’m not running to save Neil and Sammy my big brother and baby sister? No! Did he hear that?
Yes I did. But I kind of figured you thought that when you risked your life to attempt to save that little girl.
I finally realized why I was still here and why the protective grasp Stefan held me in was comforting. It reminded me of a parent I saw at a hospital once and how the parents held there new born baby, how the father had looked at his baby boy with adoration. Neil, Sammy and I are all orphans our parents disappeared around six months ago. I could feel the tears coming. No! Why would I be thinking about this right now?
Listen Nicoli, we both froze. The name sounded so familiar. Where had I heard it before?
Just then, Neil started banging on the door. Stefan stood me up on my feet and I backed cautiously away. He looked at me with a look that I have never before in my life been given. Then he ran to the window and jumped out.
Wait did this mean he wouldn’t be after me anymore?
Nice try Nic, but now we’re closer than ever. My plan worked. I’m in your head. I’ll always know were you are. I could hear the, I win, tone of his voice in my head.
I also have a better influence over you.
Suddenly I felt very sleepy and the last thing I heard, well thought I heard, was Night Nicoli.
 Dezzie
“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.”
-Oscar Wilde
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I like the style of it and what it talks about. It definitely relates to the topic and has a deeper meaning, which I love. At first, there were a few parts where I was unsure about. Like