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Review by jaelita
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like the idea of the story and am intrigued to know more. I found the beginning a little difficult to follow, perhaps if the mention of the setting happened a little earlier. Some other suggestions:
"Parent's who even now, were being clubbed to death, on the side of an indifferent forest trail,..."= "Parents who even now were being clubbed to death on the side of an indifferent forest trail. Then the rest as a new sentence."
"The bandits left behind two naked, hacked and pitiful bodies, fresh blood pooling on the snow from shockingly white skin, disturbed drifts where feet had kicked, hands had scrabbled, their last quivering, living, reflex." Suggest: "The bandits left behind two naked, hacked and pitiful bodies. Fresh blood flowed from shockingly white skin and pooled into the even whiter snow. Even the snow had fallen victim to the violence, disturbed drifts where feet had kicked, hands had scrabbled, their last quivering, living, reflex."

A very intriguing story and premise. I am going to follow it. I can't wait to see what develops!
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