Truly an inspired verse of love. I noticed that all your poems are dedicated to a lucky dude named "Mike A.S." -- what a lucky guy to be the beneficiary of so many sensual thoughts and words of love, romance and passion. You certainly can express your romantic feelings like no other can.
This is probably one of the most emotional and important sigs I've seen here. Love the modern art rendering of a young woman and an older woman whom I think represents you and your Aunt Sarah who's suffering from Alzheimer's. Incorporating the U.S. postage commemorating Alzheimer's and raising awareness to this disease is a wonderful touch. Kudos to whomever created this sig .
Beautiful poem abouit rising in the morning and finding all sorts of wonderful things -- images born of a n inspired love, creating a mirage of him. Light and shadows at play on the window ... glistening with dust; peckles of rust paintings swirl; amber-licked orchids Thank you for these great imagesenjoyed this fine morning.
Corrections: (Someone's fingers must have been in a hurry typing this)
a memory crips >>crisp
]awake on your cheek >>awake
\some lazy Sunday>>some
on the wing tips of a Monard >> Monarch
Very nicely written fiction that rings very true to me. Fishing on the lake in Ontario, Canada is an annual excursion for my Dad and two brothers. Depending on the weather, it can be miserable at times, but one thing's for sure: it's always a memorable event that my brothers will forever cherished, especially now that our dad is getting up there. in age. I just hope I'd never see him in a wheelchair like your old man in the story. Loved the cherished frame though imperfectly made because it holds within a very precious memory.
This story hit too close to home as my grandpa is suffereng from an advanced Alzheimer's disease. I feel for you, knowing full well that things are not going to get better for your aunt Sarah since we are dealing with an incurable disease here. Unfortunately for our family, my grandma has passed on, and as much as we hated to do it, we had no choice but place my grandpa in a nursing home. He does not recognize us anymore, which is the most painful part of dealing with a loved one's illness.
You are doing a great job by posting your story here, thereby increasing awareness to this disease that affect millions of people every year in this country alone.
I await the continuation of your story.
Good luck to you and your aunt Sarah. She seems like a wonderful woman; it's too bad that this had to happen to her.
Now, you've really done it. This one is my favorite of all your five poems. I have traveled the world, and one of my favorite places is the island of Ithaca in Greece. Since my first stay at the famous harbor, I've been interested in the island's ancient history. I am an admirer of the poems of Homer, the Iliad and the Odyssey. Something about this poem gave me the impression that it's inspired by the "Odyssey." I'm limited for time right now; however, I would like to read this poem again because of all the interesting historical things you've included in it. I will revise my review and rating, if necessary.
The literary ambrosia is within you, and it is clearly reflected in every line in this poem. You have a magnificent way of imparting such mood, and you make your reader feel the clatter of rainfall, the hypnotic lull of a tide; taste the salty air on the beach,
and hear the eerie rumble of thunder.
This is an awesome cornucopia of literary articles I am quite impressed. I've read the first two ("The Little Giant With The Pen," and "The Cancer of Slavery"), and I loved both of them. I plan on reading all of the articles in this folder. I will give you a more detailed review bia email.
What an imaginative invention! This is creatively and flawlessly crafted. I know I'm using too many adjectives, but you know, sometimes, you just can't help it when what you read amazes you to no end. Stories like this leave such a lasting impression--a pleasant one.
I'd never thought that I would one day be reading fiction about rocks that want to become people without having seen one. Vee's character is 'alive' (so to speak) and her obsession to become a person ultimately started 'shaping up' (no pun intended, but course, it was intended. LOL) Your description of her transformation into a human shape is quite vivid and I could see it all happening. Hurray to the sculptor.
Once again, GREAT job, Tim. I look forward to reading more of your work. I know, I have yet to start reading your Elkwater's King.
You must have the friendliest personality that attracts friends easily--even on the phone. Your bosom buddy, a volunteer for the American Cancer Society, was incredibly helpful to you in making a decision about your surgical option. I am amazed that someone like you can get just the right information you needed from someone on the phone instead of from the surgeons. And I have a feeling that you probably made the right choice.
Oh, brother . . . this would have been a good story if it weren’t riddled with run-on sentences, punctuation errors, and other technical mistakes.
This does not flow well; therefore, is not easy to read . I started to make some corrections and suggestions on how to improve it, but I don’t know if you want us to edit your work or just give you our general comments.
Okay, for my general comment: I like the story. Seamus’ character seems real and sympathetic. I like your descriptions of the tranquil rural scene. Treasa is not in the story much; and because this is in Seamus’ point of view, I didn’t get to know her enough. If you’re going to turn this into a longer piece, she needs to be developed some more.
What I like best: Seamus’ genuine love for his wife and son; and the dramatic ending, with the murder of the soldier that precipitated Seamus’ decision to leave his country and go to America.
My suggestion: Review your manuscript word for word several times. Maybe have someone read it to you – a good way to catch your mistakes. If you want me to give you some examples of your technical problems, don’t hesitate to let me know.
For now, keep writing. You've got something potentially terrific here.
About your novel's chapter two: "William--the Vulcanologist." I love the title. It reminds me of the references to "Pliny, the Elder," and "Pliny, the Younger," both of whom were Visuvius vulcanologists and historians. Very fitting. Just Perfect.
This chapter provides a brief glimpse into Mary's connection to the Aeta tribes of Mount Pinatubo, which started in her childhood, when her father would take her up to the mountains to deliver goods to the villagers.
I like William's character. I'm glad you added him because he's perfect for the novel about a volcano eruption. He also sounds perfect as a love interest for Mary--the volcano lover; but . . . oops! Mary's married. This is going to be interesting.
Well, another great read from you. Terrific job.
Keep writing. Some of us live vicariously through your work.
(First of all, I will be very careful this time not to refer to "you" as Mary. I keep thinking that this is an auto-biographical story, and I tend to refer to your protagonist as you, as in my previous review. Sorry.)
You have re-written this chapter, and what a great job you've done on it. The only thing I wish you'd kept is the original beginning -- with Mt. Pinatubo's eruption, and the immediate establishment of the story's main conflict: what really happened during Mary's mother's last visit to the Philippines that powerfully affected her and caused the astonishing transformation in her behavior."
I look forward to reading more of your chapters. Right now . . . time for dinner.
Oh, brother, how funny! What an incredible and hilarious narrative you've given us here. I saw it all-this funny experience with his dog that happened during Jack's excursion to the mailbox. Definitely, wasn't funny at the time it was happening; but if this happened in real life, yes, Jack would be relating it as a "funny thing that happened on his way to te mailbox to mail his tax return.
I have a dog, but I wonder how Jack managed to make Peppy look forward to his daily Alpo. My dog snubs any kind of dog food, even the most expensive ones. He prefers my steak or anything I eat and drink. Even the beer and the corn chips.
I loved it when Peppy decided to relieve himself of the substantial stuff, right in front of the grumpiest neighbor on the block. And you took me to the scene when you described how Jack tried to pick up the poop with his plastic-gloved hands. Funny.
One thing that confused me though, I thought Jack was an older man, and probably alraedy married. Till you started talking about the cute single lady with those "beautiful green eyes framed by that high cheek-boned face with a near-perfect complexion. This was the most conversation we'd had since she'd moved here." (Here you described a youthful woman, which told me that Jack is probably a lot younger than I thought."
I also thought that the ending was abrupt. All of a sudden you were already talking about a "relationship" between Jack and the beautiful woman.
Very entertaining.
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