*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/janeanne
Review Requests: OFF
9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Alone  
Review by janeanne
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like the idea behind this but I felt it moved too fast. I just didn't move at the same pace. I wanted to know how he felt, what he saw...all that and more.
2
2
Review of Three  
Review by janeanne
Rated: E | (4.5)
Gripping. A nice twist at the end too. I thought the link to the three witches was a clever concept but M's witches foretold the future rather than bringing justice. You write well though. aA couple of repetitions but these can soon be sorted.
3
3
Review of HARDLY HEATHENS  
Review by janeanne
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Very atmospheric and we're under no illusion as to where the narrative focus is. I think you could go a little easier on the adjectives. For example do we need 'humble' and sawmill labourer or 'strong' and 'moral'? I don't know about you but I usually rewrite by stripping more and more away.
4
4
Review of Ava  
Review by janeanne
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like this. your mind is racing through the story though. I wonder if you're more concerned to get on with the plot than show us everything that happens on the way. I found I was concerned about mundane questions like where did they get petrol and did they eat the veg from the garden. Ava and the dog are a very strong partnership though and I think this story could work really well if you slow down and ket the reader look about a bit.
5
5
Review of First drum set  
Review by janeanne
Rated: E | (3.0)
Joyful. I remember this well! Have you written this for the parents or children?
5 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/janeanne