Again, a funny piece. I can sympathize, being a chocoholic myself. I went through something similar with my mother before I moved out on my own. Your style reminds of Dave Barry, though more grounded in reality. I've enjoyed reading through your portfolio.
You make many good points with a good sense of humor. Clearly, for someone who doesn't find a zen-like state of calm while being outdoors surrounded by nature, camping is more of a chore than a vacation. Beside, you can easily go hiking by staying at a hotel that is near someplace that has hiking trails, right?
It reminds me of something my wife said, "My idea of roughing it is carrying my own luggage."
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