Hi. Sorry it took so long. I don't really know much about poetry. So, what I can tell you is my general idea of the poem. I like the part where you weave the wife into the poem as a background, yet powerful element.
The sentences are easy on the eye, easy enough to simply read and move through, which is a perk in many ways but, it will also be difficult to stick a plot within it. The second part looks to lay the foundation of an elaborated storyline and I hope it has a good connection with the first part, or at least that's what I gathered. I hope you stay enthusiastic and keep writing.
Hi. You write with a strong vocabulary and vivid descriptions. I could almost feel the peacefulness of the park. And the contrast between the quiet and busy was skillfully shown. Also, you worked your way into the story nicely.
One little note that comes to my mind is; it would have been better if you could round out the story in a way to underline the significance of the main point.
I hope it was helpful. Stay inspired.
I am probably not very good at this, but I'll try to write a review anyway and I hope you are a kind person as I don't like to be punched (haha).
First of all, you should know that I have never drank coffee in my life. secondly, I very much liked the part where "the fist was forming" and I was ready to see an annihilating punch. It would have been great if in some kind of a spin-off it did happen and I could see where it went from there; especially because the nurse had it coming. thirdly, I personally like to read a bit more about the descriptions because it would help me picture the situation and sort of live in it.
I hope you stay inspired.
The descriptions of the mother and the child were touching.
At first it was, maybe, too simple. But then, as the story progressed it became better. The tragedy was well-put. I enjoyed reading it.
I hope you stay inspired and keep writing.
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