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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jllgant
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Review of The Fog  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a beautiful and very effectively written story. It quite honestly brought tears to my eyes and is written in a manner that I would like to emulate in my own work. The end is not at all obvious from the beginning of the piece and truly keeps you guessing. I might use the "hum of portent" instead of the "hum of deception" or something of that nature as it is not a deceptive tale, rather it reveals truth in my interpretation of it. Or perhaps a "hum of revelation"? I would also use a different word than "morphed" as it is quite a colloquial modern term while the story has a sense of history and grace. Perhaps "transformed" might be a better word?

The story is beautiful and full of emotion. It really paints a picture in your mind, which is why it was so easy to make critical comment on some of the wording. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing.
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