I liked it, lots of thrills and reminds me of the kinds of things that i would write. There are just a few things that i would change. At the very beggining when Jeniffer is talking to Kyle about going to stop the boulder, i felt that the tone was very strange, almost casual. "Whatever ma, just dont die" is definately not the words i would have used. I dont know if i just misconcieved it, but i thought that was kinda akward and unfitting. I encountered things like this a couple times through the story, but otherwise fantastic
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jokersasylum
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 10:52pm on May 07, 2024 via server web2.