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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jokersasylum
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I liked it, lots of thrills and reminds me of the kinds of things that i would write. There are just a few things that i would change. At the very beggining when Jeniffer is talking to Kyle about going to stop the boulder, i felt that the tone was very strange, almost casual. "Whatever ma, just dont die" is definately not the words i would have used. I dont know if i just misconcieved it, but i thought that was kinda akward and unfitting. I encountered things like this a couple times through the story, but otherwise fantastic
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