Really liked this. Never personally tried my hand at Haiku but thought this one was very well done. Is a very good reminder that no matter how pretty something is it can fall short of our expectations. This short Haiku could be a good slogan on a poster. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Just as the first chapter of any book should be. Grabs the attention of the reader and leaves them wanting to continue on with the story. Very well written. Had just enough history about the charactors in this beginning to allow more about each through-out the tale. Can't wait to read the next chapter and hopefully the rest of the story.
Really like how you laid this out with the word hunger spelled out in each stanza. Also thought the author's note was very moving. Touched me deeply. Hunger is indeed an issue that needs more attention than it gets right here in the USA. This piece needs to be in print.
The use of adjectives in this story made it very visual. Could actually see the stones as they went through their journeys of desire to try to change themselves to something else. Just as we as humans do the same in life. I also like the meaning of the story as a whole. All we have to do is look at the world to see how everybody is trying to become something they are not by their own power instead of listening and seeking out the higher being.
Very well written. Liked how the story progressed with so many emotions woven into it. The ending was very sad but very fitting under the circumsantes. Left me feeling some pity for Jonathan yet think that maybe his love of the piano and music will overcome his feeling sorry for himself and in the future he will be able to once again play.
A very descriptive piece. Actually felt like I was in the tavern with the various charaters. Especially like the inclusion of Nicolae. Jimmy's obvious respect and admiration of the Knight gives the story an added element of possibity toward adventure.
Really enjoyed this. Hope to read more of this real soon.
This is a very good concept for a story. Needs some editing for structure.
Like how you showed the human side of Carry with her struggles in the futuristic setting. Wonder how her love of some of the things from the past will effect the out come of this story.
Hopefully at a future date you will continue her story and tell us exactly what the 2 strangers are doing and why.
Keep on writing.
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