WOW!! What a riveting story. Very well told. I was in 7th grade the day John Kennedy died and remember every day of those 4 eventful days as if they were yesterday. I was living in Hamilton, Mass. It must have been such a joy for you to have seen him and to have precious memories to keep close to your heart, as well as to share with your new friends. It's amazing how friendships can form and last a lifetime.
Your writing is well done, grammar and editing are great. I found nothing I would want you to change. Thank you for sharing your experience.
First, let me say I thought the basic concept of the story was very good. I liked the relationship between Kayla and Rosa. I liked how you built their relationship from the ground up. Then, you showed how destructive obsessions can be. The flow of the story was well written and was easy to read.
With that said, I do feel that it was in need of editing. There were numerous grammatical and punctuation errors. It is best to have someone else proofread your work before submitting it. I have found that it helps me.
Overall, not too bad. Please continue to write. You have a great talent for telling a story. Would like to read more of your work.
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