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11 Public Reviews Given
13 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by K.Gore
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Mechanics: Your sentences are very curt and immobile. There is very little sentence variation in this story. The words you use are too colloquial. [See how reading those three sentences seems choppy and difficult because they are all very terse? That is how your entire story is! Don't be afraid to create long, difficult sentences.] Also, you use a ton of conjunctions, which takes away from the depth of the story because I feel like someone is talking to me the whole time. There are also many types and grammatical errors that can be fixed should you reread your story.

Plot: The story was interesting, though predictable.

Overall Impression: You've got good stuff here! With a few tweaks this story could be even better.

Improvement: Don't give away the ending of the story in the beginning! Add suspense to your tale by hinting at but not saying that by the end she will kill her husband. Reread your story to fix your grammatical and typographical errors. Vary your sentences and use some words that aren't used in every day speech.

Good luck with your further works!

~ K.Gore
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Review of Autumn Hanging On  
Review by K.Gore
Rated: E | (3.0)
I quite enjoyed reading this poem. You portray nature as any person writing about nature would, but you also do it in a unique way. At least for me, I saw within your description of nature a reflection of life and how life is. To have life is to have (a) nature. The only suggestion I have is to somehow fix the flow of this. It is choppy where the punctuation isn't correct [for instance "Each Season finds itself in order / Victim of immutable fate," reads funny]. Nonetheless, great stuff here!
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