Awesome story. Is it based on a true story? I don't blame Tyrone for finally fighting back, enough was enough. That bully got what was coming to him, he was nothing but coward, a strong coward who picked on the weak. Personally I think life needsmore people like Tyrone.
sounds cool. the only thing is the man vs machine element. it's always either man against machine or man against aliens. Another thing is how man is always portrayed as cocky, flamboyant creatures who think they are great, but in reality are just power hungry demons. I do give you points however for telling it from technology's perspective. 3.5 for average
I love how your story is broken into chapters. and the introduction was great, not too long like other introductions;instead it is short, sweet, to the point, gets to the bottom line without being paragraphs long, and not to mention keeps my attention. The bottom line: 5 for perfect.
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