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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kriss127
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12 Public Reviews Given
16 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Library Lady  
Review by Kriss07
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Such a classic example of how shared interests and perhaps fate can bring two people together.Tricia and Kasey both share one thing in common; they had a rough childhood with no parental love and had to be under custody of other people. Tricia's experience helps her to understand and empathize with the little girl, Kasey.
the writer has used flashback to open up the past of the two main characters in the story. The plot fits perfectly well.

suggestions:...a sob broke from Kasey's throat...Tricia hugged her tight...Settling Kasey on the couch, she wrapped a throw around the child, continuing to comfort her ( insert 'the') best she could.
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Review of Fade Away  
Review by Kriss07
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
An interesting article to read. Hope such a high degree of callousness does not exist among human beings, but then again human nature is a different story altogether. Maybe the author was using this story as an analogy to refer to something in our own lives, perhaps how helpless we are when it comes to death. The last two sentences...Why wo-... creates suspense which is also a stylistic device.
suggestions: 1st paragraph...when i woke ( up) today... 'up' was omitted.
3rd paragraph...i gathered my books...before i headed (outside) through the door...
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Review of Am I...  
Review by Kriss07
Rated: E | (3.5)
A very nostalgic love poem. love it. Seems like the persona is not sure whether she is loved back, despite openly showing feelings of love towards the person in question. This is evidenced by the use of phrase ''...am i...'' to show uncertainty. Rhyming words have also been used eg now...allow,
bleak...cheek etc
suggestions: line 21 of the poem, maybe you could have inserted a link ie
Am I,
That girl whose days had turned bleak,
but smiled instead, and kissed your cheek?

seems like in that stanza there is a slight disconnect between the 2nd and 3rd line?
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Review by Kriss07
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wonderful piece of writing with a seamless prose that makes it easy for a reader to follow the story. The introductory part of the story just in itself unleashes the story to the reader on the go! There is also use of suspense to make you glued to the story for example what happened to Kyle's mother, or the inconclusive story about the lighthouses.
suggestions:...''staggered out of the house<i> looking to see...</i>.'' I am not sure looking to see is a grammatically correct phrase though...
then there is ''...running toward..." instead of ...running towards..
good read though, big ups!
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kriss127