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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/krlewis
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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by krlewis
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your customer service care issue sounds frustrating, but you displayed a great sense of humor in the retelling. We all can relate to these kind of interactions. This story makes me think about the importance of honesty and values in business.

My Favorite Line


"Come on, I could send a cow through the mail for less money than that."

Suggestions


I have no suggestions other than possibly changing "manger" to "manager" in the first line a manager is mentioned. Everything else is perfect!
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Review by krlewis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello! While searching the articles section looking for inspirational content, I found this encouraging gem written by a believer.

Both the opening quote by James Baldwin and the ending scriptural quotes are very fitting for the article's tone. As I read, I found myself reflecting on times I've served as a clerk or volunteer--times that probably made angels cheer--times that I know I could have done a better job reflecting the heart of Jesus. It was heart-warming to read your appreciation of a lady serving others with a servant's heart. Her sense of humor--and your appreciation of it--resonates with me. Keeping the fire lit inside is so important and it sounds like God showed you that person so you could share it with others.

Thank you for sharing your story with so many people.
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Review by krlewis
Rated: E | (3.5)
What valuable content! I love your alphabetical ideas for brain function improvement. I have one for "P"--"Palm the Ball". You hold a tennis ball or baseball in one hand and keep tossing it into the palm of each hand in a straight line, growing faster, slower, or further distance over time. Can also switch your hands to be like you're playing an accordion and catching the ball, or bouncing it off a wall and catching. You would probably prefer bouncing a soft toy ball for the last exercise.

I look forward to your "L-Z".

There were some minor writing issues I believe you would catch upon a re-read. "Brian" in the title is meant to be "Brain", misspelling of "Eurhythmics". Things like that. Nothing that detracts from the value of the content.

As I read the article, I caught myself wondering if you have more information to share about some of the topics. For example, while we both could probably agree eating healthy is self-explanatory to most people, this article provides an opportunity to explain a little more about it from the the perspective of someone who is improving brain health.

Your encouragement to come up with our own ABC's is very positive and kind. Thank you.

Overall, this is a great article. Write on!
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4
Review by krlewis
Rated: E | (3.0)
Indeed, life is what we make of it and not what happens to us when others make bad choices in their lives that affect us. When we are children, we have only some choice about what happens in our lives, but as adults we are fully responsible and must accept the consequences of whatever actions we have taken. This doesn't mean we must live like we've lost at life just because we have so much adversity--self-inflicted or otherwise invited.

There is a lot of repetition, as well as distracting typos. If the content is tightened up, it could become a greatly inspiring speech to give before a crowd or a great article as a life coach.
5
5
Review of Success  
Review by krlewis
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! It was a pleasure to read your semi-autobiographical story. At the end, I caught myself wondering if there were more you had intended to write, a follow-up or continuation. It was interesting.

There were just a couple minor kinds of grammatical or mechanical issues: a. comma placement; b. sentence structure.

a. "Son, don't call me sir, it's Sam." Consider changing the sentence to something like: "Son, don't call me 'sir'. It's Sam." There are other sentences with comma and uppercase/lowercase issues.

b. "...I once saw; After a tornado scene...." This could be broken into two sentences or the "a" in "After" changed to a lowercase letter. The idea of what is going on is there without the sentence about a movie.

The tone is humorous and informative. The story could go either way--inspirational as a rags-to-riches story or educational like a crime story. Hoping the story is not criminal. The details are promising. Could see this story refined and turned into a very inspirational business and life story.
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