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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/krocky
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Rated: E | (3.0)
I really like the story and think it has a lot of potential. I think if it is be a children's story it should have a little more 'show' and a little less 'tell'. Maybe add some more details about some of the things mentioned. This seems more like an outline (though a good one). Good luck, keep working on it!
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/krocky