I take it this is non-fiction as it is such a harrowing story! I found it very well written and totally concise. Are you working on anything else? I'd like to read your style more often. You appear to have a clear grip on what you want to say and this is truly a talent. Keep it up! Good luck. If you have a moment, please give An English Lesson a read and let me know what you think. Thanks for the read. Leighoire
Once again, I feel you're writings have a freudian feel and wonder if you are developing your own theories on the wanderings of the mind. If this is in fact what you are dabbling in, I think you will do very well indeed! I hope I'm correct in assuming that you are studied in this field and if so, my only question is why are you using writing.com as a forum? presumably you have tried other avenues with your writings? I feel this piece was clearly written and easier to understand than the previous two pieces
I really enjoyed this piece! At the beginning, it led me to thinking I was going to be reading some difficult to understand outer planet inhabited by beings we haven't as yet met! I am adding this piece to "my favourites" Once I got to the end, I automatically had to re-read the story and thoroughly enjoyed your concept. I am looking forward to more from you! Keep writing! If you get a moment, please give "An English Lesson" a read and let me know what you think... Leighoire
You have a terrific piece here, I haven't quite gone through all the chapters yet, but I like Jo very much, she's spunky and fun. How well I remember myself at that age living the single life with my own cat. I can see serious competition coming between Jo and Danielle, I haven't made my mind up yet if I like David, I think he might be too smooth and creamy to be a margerine! If you know what I mean?...... This is truly great. When is your next book due? When you have a moment I would be honoured if you would give "An English Lesson" a read and let me know what you think... Good luck
Leighoire
You have a colourful command of the english language with descriptions that say you are indeed eloquent, I liked the piece, however, I was left with the impression that more could have come from such an articulate writer, did you wish to convey only the emotion itself? If so, then I say well done for encapsulating the emotion. Should your writing have conveyed anything other, then I feel it fell short. Keep it up and feel free to review "An English Lesson" Good Luck - Leighoire
I really enjoyed reading this. I thought the ending terrific you have a wonderful talent. I like your work, how about working on a longer one, like Walrus & the Carpenter length!..... Please give "An English Lesson" a read and let me know what you think.
Keep it up!
Leighoire
I think this is a terrific piece. The characters wistfullness and boredom are almost tangible. I felt a great sadness for the dog and realised that the owner was probably a christian and felt he had cause to shoot the dog versus the character being an athiest who wouldn't dream of shooting a dog! Keep going, your style is good enough to go on longer.....Good Luck. Please give "An English Lesson" a read, let me know what you think of it.
Leighoire
Wonderful richly written characters, captivating story line with a tangible insite into a fantasy world that almost feels part of our own! Looking forward to more!
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