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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/letoofbeggars
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11 Public Reviews Given
19 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Mimicry Of Life  
Review by LetoOfBeggars
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is one of your best works. In "Innocent Child Of Perfection", the thought I was getting at was that men are born clean and real, but as time goes on, they turn into the puppets you described in this poem. They turn into society's plaything, for them to toss and throw as they please with no fear of a reprimanding, especially in America. The fashion craze here is literally deadly, anorexics and bulemics run around like the dead left unburied. Wealth, sex, and so many other vices control the lives of things once called men but now puppets; mere toys for the entertainment of the crowds. "Mimicry Of Life" is the best name for this transformation of flesh and blood to wood and strings.
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Review of I: Wraith  
Review by LetoOfBeggars
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow. There is excellent depth to this, especially in the way that the old woman refuses any help with the burden of the stone. The imagery, especially when she is trying to control the stone, is amazing. The use of so many adjectives helped it along.I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope you write more. The cliffhanger at the end is quite interesting--I should start using those more often. I think the basic background was slightly blurry, though, I would try giving a little more information on how the old woman got the stone and why she feels obliged to control it, herself alone. The emotional words along with the feelings combined superbly. "Ghadrik comforted her writhing body as it jerked with sobs." I find myself sitting in a dim cabin as I watch the sadness and despair rise. The huge amount of emotion is a great way to get the reader to bond with the characters. Thank you for writing this-- I'll remember it when I'm working on my first novel. WRITE ON!!!
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