Immediately added to favorites. This piece really is beautiful; the writing, the rhymes, the words. The way it is structured and how you use metaphors to describe the impact a child’s dream can have on the world. There is not a single sentence in this poem that isn’t worth mentioning, stunning work!!
great piece! i like how you compared Alex's past to the present, and the changes that had been made since, and how the word perfect changed over time. when reading it makes you think of how the world has changed and the way we picture a "perfect world" today. what i would like to see more of, though, is Alex and Helena's relationship. what did she mean to him? what happened to her? what will Alex's life look like now? how I see it, Helena supposedly passed away, and we are so far in the future that we can now create personal robots of real humans. and Alex had a robot made to resemble Helena, so he could go back to how things used to be, even if just for a perfect moment, and then they could have the perfect goodbye. I really like your writing, and the way you tied the end with the beginning of Alex eating his chocolate ice cream. good work!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/liliwrites
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.19 seconds at 9:59pm on May 03, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
