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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lillyam
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Review by Lilly
Rated: E | (4.0)
I probably would have used your last sentence as my first sentence in the introduction. However, it works fine in your paragraph. Talking about that, it was difficult for me to finish reading the essay because of the clutter. By that I mean that you should at least leave a space between paragraph to make it easier on the reader.

Believe me! I stopped reading. Then decided to come back because I liked what you had written so far. And you did prove that Steinbeck "demonstrated that dreams, fantasies, and hopes are a way to escape unhappiness."'

I should mention that once you mention John Steinbeck's name once, you do not need to repeat it. The last name will do.
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