you have a way of using your words to flow really smothly but at the same time make the reader really think about what you are saying with your witing.. i think this is an excilent peice but it could do with a little bit of editing.
Fav part: The helping hand you felt on the shoulder,
The crushing blow, rolls down like a boulder.
The looks that you throw and the faces you catch,
Your head and your heart find that they seldom match.
Fav part: I fight through the tide, but it's started turning,
My heart in my throat and my chest is now burning,
I scan the horizon and finally see,
My future descended, reclaimed by the sea
It flows freely and has a great story line!
Least fav: I immersed myself in in a hope and a prayer,
Waiting for something, I thought I saw there.
I stood on the soapbox, called out to the sky,
A response late in coming, with no reason why.
It seems a little more foced like it could use some sanding on the rough eges.
Great job! and keep writing!!
Lincoln girl
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