These are just my opinions. Anyways, the story itself was good. I liked how you never once included the event that preceded you story, it gave an interesting feel. There were a few times where you spelled anti-conscience as anti-conscious, and there was the fourth sentence in the seventh paragraph that didn't really make too much sense to me, but I might just not get it. I loved the last sentence from the fifth paragraph, how you had it as though the view was slowly traveling upwards, and I think it would add to the suspense if instead of saying: 'like a ...' if you could say that it was the unrelenting bull, make a metaphor instead of a simile. If you could read any of my work and give me some feedback, I would appreciate it. Overall, good story.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/loganweir
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 4:05pm on May 05, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
