I just love this. I hate to see something old and familiar changed in the name of progress. It is a fettish of mine, therefore I really appreciate this poem. Also, I would like to complement your flawless rhyming scheme. This one's a winner! Shancy.
I really love the message here. I love the way you executed it in rhyming style. There are some fresh twists on a story we've known for years. I enjoyed this very much and couldn't find anything really that I would change. Shancy.
This is not only a beautifully sentimental piece that I could share with the author but the rhyming was fun to read. There was only one weak spot and a couple of words that didn't rhyme in exact but altogether this was like taking in a long, deep breath of mountain fresh air. I enjoyed. Shancy.
This is nice and calming. It is a good view on the subject of love. You are right, we all want a fairy tale love. I wouldn't change anything on this. Shancy.
Oh, I feel the same way about my four who are mostly gone. You've rather said it all here. If I were to offer any advice it would just be to work on form. Your poem is kind of all over the place, though what it says really touches the heart. Hope I've been of some help. Shancy.
Welcome! You're sure to be a success with great writing like this. This is just great! Bravo! I did so enjoy the twist. There is one mistake you may want to fix. "Shaft" is typed with the "S" left off. Shancy.
I really like this one a lot because all of the descriptions remind me of an acid trip I took the night my parents found out I did drugs. If I hadn't been on that cool acid trip it would have been a really bad scene for me. Your descriptions are great.
They aren't really metaphors so much as descriptions.
A great read. LOL Shancy.
Bravo! A well-written wonderful but sad story. I loved every word of it. I just lost my dad two years ago, seems like yesterday. There is great depth to this story. Something for everyone to get something out of. Again, I really enjoyed it. Shancy.
This is so touching. It is wonderful that you are there for your mother when others would have turned away or been ashamed. I like your poem. I think the rhyming could have used a little more thought but it's a nice poem. Shancy.
This is the least likely fish tale I was expecting. LOL. It is very well written and makes for a touching love story. I love to fish. I'm sorry no one caught anything but the love bug! LOL. It is charming.
PS Thank you for the corrections on my story, which I've fixed. The answer to your question is "no" I don't intend on going any further with "A Mother's Concern." Shancy.
Well, long or not, this was certainly a very creative madlib. I enjoyed reading every word. You have a wonderful imagination. Too bad my choice of words sucked. LOL Shancy.
I understand the white man coming and destroying. What I don't understand is wasn't there enough land for the red man and the white man? Many red men did their part in savagely murdering and scalping the white women and children. My great grandmother was full Cherokee. My other great grandmother was full Irish. So where do I stand? I stand for peace. I'm glad I read this. The rhythm is off a bit but the story is great. Shancy.
Oh my gosh but you are incredible!!!!! I dearly loved this. Probably because I live mostly alone with my miniature dachshund who thinks he's ten feet tall! LOL. I could picture this as I read every word. You have a great style. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. I welcome you to try some of mine. Though not nearly as humorous. Shancy.
There is a lot of wisdom in this. Things are not always what they seem. The Bible speaks of angels coming to the earth to our doors looking perhaps poor and needy to see what our reaction will be. We should always try to be kind. Often, it's easier to be kind to strangers than our own family. You might want to correct the word "and" in the next to last line to "an." I really enjoyed this sweet poem. Thanks for the reminder to be kind to all! Shancy.
I sympathize with your emotions in this work. You might want to read it for spelling errors and I feel the third from last and the last line contradict one another. Perhaps I just am not getting what you're saying here. I've been in relationships like this before. It is very painful. I wish you the best. Shancy.
Oh boy. I made a mess out of this one but it has some really funny parts. The madlib name caught my attention, thought it would be a hoot. I wasn't wrong.
Great job. Shancy.
This is wonderful! What a great way to be, if only we could. Your rhyming scheme was great, the rhythm, too.
There is one detail that should be corrected for the sake of good grammar: "laying on the floor" should by "lying." I always remember it because one of my teachers said chickens lay, people lie. LOL I love the feeling this poem gave me. Also, thank you so much for your review and great rate and helpful comments on my poetry. I'm not real good with commas.
I thought I had it right but it seems everyone has a different idea. Anyway, bless you. Shancy.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lonelyletters
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.19 seconds at 3:48pm on May 18, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
