Lorelei's (lorelei19) Reviews

Lorelei

Review Requests: OFF

9 Public Reviews Given

43 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2409317

Review of Kaleidoscopic Eyes

Review by Lorelei

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Even if you have prozodic elements in the poem and a lot of full sentences they work great in this context. Great flow of words from beginning to end, beautifully simple at times and intricatly compex at other times.

Great work.

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2378980

Review of Haiku - Deep Sea Change

Review by Lorelei

Rated: E

| (3.5)

While your haiku is built on the traditional form (3 lines, 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables), its content isn't exactly suited for a haiku. I get this impression because it seems to be rather narrative and dynamic than descrptive and pensive. It is focused on action (use of verbs "shimmers", "heels", "takes wing"), rather than description and imagery.

The final line is also dynamic (exclamatory) and seems to suggest another observation of nature, rather then a conclusion to the previous lines. While I was not particularly fond of the imagery in the first line ( as I found it a bit ordinary), I liked the second line and its imagery.

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1956686

Review of The Shoebox: The story behind the lyric

Review by Lorelei

Rated: E

| (2.5)

This piece appears to be more of a journal entry than an actual artistic expression of whichever kind. The senteces are a bit simple and disruptive and the vocabulary is also a bit on the common/simple level.

The theme is interesting, but I definitely think it could use more vivides images, figures of speech or some intricate narrative techniques.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1955704

Review of Death Was A Beautiful Woman

Review by Lorelei

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This is one of the best pieces of poetry I have read on this web site. Its beauty is both musical and profound, both expressive and enchantingly ambiguous...

It is rythmical, the words flow harmoniously and the imagery and metaphors you used are highly original and surprising...

The first stanza, used in repetition throughout the whole poem, is dazzling...

OVERALL: Splendid, enchanting, unforgetable...

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1955701

Review of Golden

Review by Lorelei

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

I really enjoyed the subject you chose to write on and the way you portrayed it using a single fictional moment in time...Your concisiveness works very well and I loved the fact that this piece does not immediately make the reader understand what it is about, but, instead it requires a pause to think and contamplate.

The only drawback I could find is at the level of the vocabulary and imagery. I would have liked it to be more vivid and expressive.

Overall: the choice of theme is original and daring and the concisive approach shows that you don't need a hundred words to convey your feelings.