This is a nice poem appealing to the extremes:
like 'flame beneath the sea' and the way you pair the opposites is amazing. Please note this typo:
That though(t) I don't understand it
Dear Bethany,
It is good summary/synopsis/description for your thriller. Do you have a section that will talk about you as an individual qualified for the topic and your marketing platform (like how well-known you are to help promote the book). You don't have to be a pro but anything to make the agent or publisher know that investing in you is worthwhile. Also I think you must have a sentence or two about why you chose the particular agent/publisher. These are just suggestions. Your letter looks good though.
maamegrace.
I just gave you the highest rating for the content. Not style (you need to cut down on description especially in the very first paragraph--you must know that it is the opening and the hook to the entire story). I'm glad I was patient to read to the end. It is a very touching story and one with a lesson against false assumptions. Great story!
Very good story. It makes you want to go out and change the world. And I think that is the essence of a story; when it has positive effect on the reader. It is also well-written and the dialogue is great. Overall it is a good story. I missed the time piece though but I guess is one of those time-travel pieces. Hank reincarnated or what? I like the lesson the story teaches, I'll always remember to be kind to people.
Thanks.
Maamegrace.
I love the subtle proposal in Ollie's email. That's the kind of thing that makes a person think twice, read again and make a move. I guess Sara was begining to understand the undercurrents of everything as she comes out with her own cute statement: "Thanks for making me smile.'
The hook is great, like Ollie, I cant wait till tommorrow for what Sara has in store. Great story!
I will check my mail tommorrow with Ollie. Goodnight.
Still great, like I said, I'm hooked until the end. I f I dont finish now, maybe later but i'll make sure I read all the chapters. Know what? I'm tempted to jumpchapters to where they really start off but I won't. I'll try to control the urge and get there at the right time. I do like romantic novels.
Truly it's great, hook after hook. I'm going to read the next chapter. Were you asked to write it for the site? The diction flows and I guess the plot is carrying me, I don't even analyse the structure anymore: I mean the pace, dialogue, narrative and description. It is a good piece. See I gave you 5.0, I never gave that so far.
maamegrace.
Hi,
I'm still enjoying your story. It is very interesting. I have these suggestions:
Please correct protege to protégée the (feminin) of protégé;
Also you put your thoughts in a single quotation marks: 'Talk about Jekyll and Hyde', she thought. I don't think you can put your thoughts in quotes.
Generally, the story is great. I love it.
maamegrace.
Really it is a great story. I just read the first chapter and I'm in love with it. Just Because I think I like Ollie low-key personality and I am a romantic at heart.
Oh now why I'm I not surprised...I scrolled down to find the author and she's you...the one I was chatting with not long ago at the Austen fan's site.
Dear Megan,
This is great. I`m excited this is happening. I love all the books but I think my favourite is Pride and Prejudice. I don`t know why but it looks like it was my first classic romance. I read it about age eight or so. My father had these old encyclopedias and a collection of classics. I didn't understand the nuances at first but it was the book I used for Secondary two literature class so I delved into it. Frankly, every heroine I create; whether on paper or in thought has a bit of Elizabeth Bennet in her.
Emma, oh that nice little girl who wanted the world to be a better place through her matchmakings.
I have to leave but Megan, I think this is going to be a great discussion once we get the Austen fans on. We can even introduce topics for debate.
First topic for debate(proposal):
Was Darcy scared of Elizabeth`s confidence or obnoxious in making contacts with the country girl with the engaging eyes when he first met her.?
Maybe you should send it to all those supporting cancer victims and their families. It is very emotional. I am not a poet and I know little about verse but the content made me want to cry--maybe, because I lost someone to cancer recently. Thank you for the poem.
Funny and very entertaining. I love it; after all it's about my favorite author. Tell you something, Jane would never say "ass" and i doubt if she had a canopied bed and velvet winged back chair. Rev. Austen was poor, he couldn't afford that luzury. and oh, it is "mahogany."
Nice pretentious piece. I did really like it.
I'm going to read the rest later.
Good job.
This is an an interesting article depicting selfish behaviour and how a friend may turn out being someone who wants you off the scene .
The writer could have used more of the "said" diologue tag more than all the clucking and crowing. after all, it was clear from the begining that the writer was talking about roosters who normally "crow" and "cluck."
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