What is that Emily Dickinson said? Reading true poetry made her feel like the top of her head was coming off? (I paraphrase.) That's how I felt when I read the last stanza of this poem. Your imagery ("the dry tremble of a breath") and your metaphors (your flesh. . .mask-like) are SUBLIME. It literally made me shiver. This is ART.
The ending of this poem very nicely makes clear what this poem is about - - to be honest, I was confused by the first part. Nonetheless, you have many powerful images in the poem, particularly that of cutting through the "car accident of belief" and words being building blocks that raise us to our desired height. Though some parts are confusing, there are many things such as the aforementioned images that give this poem merit.
I think the most powerful part of this piece is the last line. I think you should focus on that and develop that idea some more, of the secrets/lies eating someone up inside. I also feel that the poem would be more powerful without the use of exclamation points and with more frequent line breaks/shorter lines in general. Another suggestion would be to be less explicit and perhaps incorporate some symbolism or figurative language into the poem. Good luck in continuing to grow the powerful image that you provided in your last line.
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