"As I stood on his front lawn this night though, I knew what I wanted."- This should be your first line. This would develop intruige from the offset. I'm going to have to be somewhat critical in order to help you here: What comes before it is very cliche'd and vague- we get the gist of the emotion your describing, but they've been described in countless stories before.
"I could hear the concern in his voice"- okay, but we can't hear what he's actually said. There's no direct speech. Also, if you'd just started crying in front of him and he DIDN'T have concern in his voice, he'd be a bit of a psycho, right? So you're kind of stating the obvious. From the words you pick for him to say, we should be able to FEEL the concern as apposed to have you tell us about it.
Start a new para each time a different person speaks
"cede" is an interesting word. I had to look it up. It seems to fit right, though.
There's no indication throughout this (until the very end) as to what era the story is set in. Some of the language is very 19th-century, ("I can promise I will never do so intentionally") so the date-stamp at the end doesn't feel realistic. That's not how people talk today, even during serious moments of romance. We don't see where they are, what they are doing, what they are wearing or how they know each other- have they been friends? Or only been dating a while?
Bottom line: You need to put more visuals in this. Show us where we are, who these people are and give them something to physically do while they are doing it. Putting them in an inner-city squash court while they have a seriously competitive game would give the story one feel. Putting it on a bus with other passengers earwigging would give it another. See what I mean? As it stands, I hate to say it, but it's very cliched and unoriginal. Could be a lot more interesting if you twist it up!
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