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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/meganleigh80
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Review by meganleigh80
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. That was a very entertaining piece! I have never thought to write from the perspective of a Neanderthal. Your story was truly captivating. I really liked that you used a diverse range of emotions in a short story. There were times when I felt my adrenaline pumping, then I was laughing, and then I was sad. That takes great skills! The only constructive criticism I have is that there was a small inconsistency when you said that they bear "ran off" but then the tribe had coats made from the bear. Perhaps you meant for the bear to be killed but it's a bit ambiguous. GREAT, GREAT work! :)
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Review by meganleigh80
Rated: E | (4.5)
Awesome descriptive writing! I had a similar infection on my toe that was not far from becoming staph. I really felt that pain again as I read. That's a great thing! I love how you made your toe and the infection an allegory. I was so caught up in reading the story that I did not realize that this was a personal introspective piece until the end! Nice Job!
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