Matthew's (mhaynes) Reviews

Matthew

Review Requests: OFF

13 Public Reviews Given

36 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1730071

Review of The nicestt U.S. City

Review by Matthew

Rated: E

| (1.0)

Was this a list of the worst U.S cities? Horrible crime rates, overly congested highway systems and some of the most fake people on the planet. They at least have character and history but there are plenty of "nicer" cities.

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1563978

Review of Self Portrait

Review by Matthew

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Good start, you have already given some character to your narrator in only a few short sentences. I would encourage you to continue to write the story just as you have been and when you finish or get stuck then go back and flesh it out a bit, because you are recording the action but it seems to lack some necessary details and description that would help it flow and be more clear. But for starters its great!
Keep up the good work!

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1542607

Review of Global Puppetmasters?

Review by Matthew

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

At this moment in time corporations exert the most pressure on society (ie, gas prices, your own internet virus theory, subway etc) the earth would be a much differnet placy if people ate more olives.
And although I do believe this to be true you must also take into account the butterfly effect, because that movie sucked and has forever changed mans direction.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1542604

Review of Origin of the Virus

Review by Matthew

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

You ask some interesting questions, but be careful, if you get too close Subway may send Jarred after you (before he lost the weight he was a hit man called "The Sitter.")
Anyway, any ideas about who starts all of the email Forwards?

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1403209

Review of Pentagram Prologue

Review by Matthew

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

That's messed up. But in a good writing way. Keep going I want the rest of it! I think I would also need to see more before I can really critque. The story moves very quickly which is good though you may wish to slow down and develope a few of the scenes and emotions before all hell breaks loose...or whatever is about to happen!
Nice.

6

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1403157

Review of Overnight Shift

Review by Matthew

Rated: ASR

| (3.0)

Your story is depicting a very interesting situation and job. It feels both haunting and subdued and although I like combination I also wonder which way is it really headed. You lay out a lovely dark world of drifting shadows and flickering televisions, faces in windows and blood filled bath tubs but at the same time the imagery is there but the feeling seems to be void of emotion. I realize the characters perspective is one of indifference to his or her peculiar and possibly awful job but you lay such fine ground work of ideas that I would like to see the character have some emotion that would give the scenes more depth and punch while maintaining the drudgery of it all.
Nice job and keep it up!