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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/miashay
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of The End  
Review by Miashay
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

In honor of your WDC Birthday you have won a review from your's truly! Okay, so you didn't really win anything... But that's beside the point! I'm bringing to you today, a one time only, FREE review of this item. No need to thank me, I do it for the gift point! Now, what you have all been waiting for! My completely biased personal opinion that you never asked for!

Note: All reviews are my own opinion and are not really a factor in much. If you don't agree with me feel free to ignore me and just keep doing your thing. It's your story, and no one can tell it better than you.


My first impression:
I love that this is in Pluto's perspective. Poe has always been a favorite of mine and I have a soft spot for anything inspired by his work. I love the way Pluto talks about his owner and the wife. It really pulls into the idea that our pets know more than we might think.

Things I would change:
I would love to see this written out a little more. Personally, while it is well written, it feels like a list of events. This created a quick and choppy story that created a rushed feeling for me. I feel like there could be a little more added to it to slow down the speed of the story. But, this is just my opinion.

There are very few grammar issues that I noticed. Mostly I saw "He thrust the knife into my eye and cut it from it’s socket!" "It's" is an abbreviation of "it is" and does not show ownership. This one took me a while to learn myself, but the literary kings want us to use "its" instead to show ownership.

Other than that I just noticed a few very small grammar errors. You have two periods after "I slowly revocered.."And you should use a comma after "After the incident,". I'm having to nit pick to find issues here. Good job!

Things I would cling to for dear life:
Your creative twist on the world. I love that you took this story, saw what it was missing, and added a new take on it. This was a great and fun little read.

Thank you so much for sharing and keep writing!

I am a proud member of The WDC Angel Army!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Miashay
Rated: E | (4.5)
*ConfettiG*Congratulations!*ConfettiGR*

You just won a review from your's truly! Okay, so you didn't really win anything... But that's beside the point! I'm bringing to you today, a one time only, FREE review of this item. No need to thank me, I do it for the gift point! Now, what you have all been waiting for! My completely biased personal opinion that you never asked for!

Note: All reviews are my own opinion and are not really a factor in much. If you don't agree with me feel free to ignore me and just keep doing your thing. It's your story, and no one can tell it better than you.


My first impression:
This story is so cute! I love her rush to please her partner. I love how she cares not about stolen identity or money. All she wants to do is stay out of the dog house. It kind of reminds me of high school mangas.

Things I would change:
I think the only real issue I have here is with the word leveraged. I get what you're trying to say, but it draws away from the flow of the story for me. I don't like to have to think about what I'm reading while I'm reading it. I had to reread this to get that she was yanking on her shoes.

Things I would cling to for dear life:
This character, Kelly is a loving person who cares about nothing other than making her love happy. If she used this energy for every one she could change the world. I love that energy from her.

Thank you so much for sharing this piece and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Miashay
Proud Member of "The WDC Angel Army and "Invalid Item


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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