My first impressions: Overall I found this to be an entertaining little diversion. It's not as somber as the original, but that was expected as it's a parody song.
What I liked best: I really enjoyed the creativity you demonstrated in personifying the cattle. Who's to say if cows really do think like us or not? What makes one cow attractive to another? What do they think of people who moo at them?
What I didn't like: I have to admit that I was less than thrilled at the lack of somber tone the parody had, considering the nature of the original song used. That's really a personal thing, since I am a fan of "Hotel California" as a dark song. It's still a good piece, though not one I will bookmark for itself. I also did not like the abbreviated chorus; again, a personal choice, since what you did worked well for your piece.
Rhythm: Excellent. I had no difficulty at all in keeping the original song going in my head. The shortened chorus threw me for about two seconds, but when I figured it out, it was smooth sailing.
Character: Obviously it's hard to know if cows really do think like we do, but I can certainly imagine cattle getting tired of flies constantly bothering them. And, of course, the desire to mate is universal. Excellent mix of obvious personification with logical assumptions about how the critters probably really do feel.
Setting: Not too much discussion of this, but the vague setting works out well. Cattle are raised in a variety of climates, and keeping the description vague enough to be any dairy farm in America helps readers relate to the work no matter where they are from.
Grammar: The only grammatical error I noticed was in the second line of the second stanza, the use of ,"Hay" instead of "Hey." Perhaps that was intentional; I'm a nit-picker about grammar professionally, though, so it did jump out at me.
Theme: I didn't know what the conditions of the writing contest were, so I don't know if you stayed on topic for that, but the piece remained consistent with its subject and didn't wander off topic.
Suggested revisions: No major suggestions. If the grammatical error I noted above was not intentional, I suggest changing that, but the piece itself is good.
Overall, I think it is a good parody. As I mentioned, it's not a piece that I intend to read frequently, if ever again, but I will check out other works by you in the future. Keep writing!
-- Mike
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