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Review of Chapter 1  
Review by MindArtist
Rated: E | (3.0)
I'm sorry, but this is just a formatting suggestion. Your story is broken down in to a handful of huge paragraphs that are intimidating to read and to me at least hard on the eyes. I would like to read and review but that really made it difficult for me to get in to the story. Perhaps you could format it different? Any contemporary novel or most of the works by the best reviewed authors on this web site will give you an idea of how to do it. Hope to read your story soon! Good luck!
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