*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mindexplore4/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: OFF
416 Public Reviews Given
416 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I just go with the flow.
Favorite Genres
Psychological Thrillers, Drama, Certain Romance
Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi is painful for me to read. Nothing personal but it's not my thing
Favorite Item Types
Static
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels
I will not review...
Novels because I don't want to commit to it. I'm struggling to finish my own books. A novel is too much for me
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 7 8 ... Next
101
101
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Kare Enga back in Montana!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

What I liked most about your writing was the story behind it. I like that it got you writing

What I liked least about it was that you kept repeating yourself

What stood out to me was the year it was written

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

102
102
Review by Dominique
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Carol St. Ann!! Thank you for sharing your adorable poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

One thing I'd have to say is.. obviously, cursey isn't a word... So, I suggest fixing that one spot but that's my own opinion.

What I liked most about your writing was it rhymed well, flowing naturally and freely.

What I liked least about it was your made up word, "cursey" and the font haha I don't like that font I'm a hater *GoLucky*

What stood out to me was you spoke of New Jersey, which is where I am from! *Smile**HeartP**HeartV*

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

103
103
Review by Dominique
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow (Neva)!! Thank you for sharing your short story with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I did notice quite a few grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!
I did notice some spelling mistakes.

SOME [NOT ALL] MISTAKES I SAW WERE:
- "I had worked there only three days" ---> I had worked there only three days
- "the restaurants signature dish whisky" ---> dish, whisky
- "The food critics, and just about every other..." ---> run-on sentence
- "He dropped the order on the floor, I swear.." ---> floor. I swear
- "Assistant chef one and two quit immediately but I was so disport for a job" ---> wanted to quit???? and desperate for a job????
- ".. and tell the bastard I quit." --> bastard, I quit.
-"Since I need the job" ---> Since I needed the job. You switched tenses there from past to present tense suddenly.
- "That's the day I picked out the name __ and decided that the Truth About.." --> that sentence doesn't make sense
- "after all I like every other assistance chef signed" --> after all, I, like every other assistant chef, signed --> IF that's how you were to keep the sentence that IS how it should be punctuated... but there are way better ways to word it that would sound better. [such as an example: After all, Assistant Chefs have to sign a nondisclosure agreement upon acceptance of their position.]
- "Before I found out that he swallowed" ---> [Example: That was before I witness the tragedy in which his stomach and intestines were torn to pieces.]
- "which cause him to change" ---> caused him
- "Then there was" ---> Then, there
- "dropping to food to testify" ---> doesn't make sense. dropping the food?
- "wrote the column as if it" ---> column, as

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

What I liked least about it was it was very choppy. Overused words we're everywhere. Not much detail or descriptive words. SHOW DON'T TELL. practice that.

What stood out to me was I would good "show don't tell" and truly practice that. Not one place did you describe anything or anyone.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

104
104
Review of For Us To Find  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Keaton Foster: Know my Hell!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

I suggest adding a few commas where needed.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was the message behind it.

What I liked least about it was: nothing

What stood out to me was the format of the text drew to read what it said.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

105
105
Review of Vocabulary  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Elisa the Broiling Stik!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was the message! I absolutely loved it! 5 STARS *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Also, it flowed naturally.

What I liked least about it was: the font

What stood out to me was the message.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

106
106
Review of Autumn as a Child  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello Sharmelle's Expressions!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I did notice quite a few grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!

SOME (NOT ALL) THINGS I SAW THAT NEEDED TO BE FIXED:
- grandmothers and scatters do not rhyme at all.
- willow and low do not rhyme at all.
- playing and interesting do not rhyme at all
[I suggest using a rhyming dictionary online, such as rhymezone.com it would really help with your poetry.]
- witch is spelled which. The form of witch that you wrote is the Halloween witches. When you say which one? it is this way [which]
- you're missing a lot of commas. like a lot
- there's a few run on sentences going on in there for sure. one is possibly just confusion due to improper punctuation but it's difficult to tell
[I suggest studying up on commas online, as well]

I did notice one spelling mistake. Specifically, "witch" would be [which]

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit. You would shorten up sentences by many words with a thesaurus, as well.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

107
107
Review by Dominique
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Rach's Chocolate Emporium is great! :) When I get more gift points, I'm absolutely going to buy "chocolates". It's a really good idea, it truly is. Also, all the amazing pictures made me hungry and wanting the candy bad as hell !!! Thank you for keeping this lovely shop open for all, I appreciate it. *Smile*
108
108
Review of Santa  
Review by Dominique
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello bob county!! Thank you for sharing your work with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.


I did notice quite a few grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!
Some [not all] mistakes I noticed:
-I'm curious as to why to keep capitalizing "bicycle" here. It's not a name, unless it is? Even so, if it was a name and the bike came alive, in that context where you're saying "my bicycle" it wouldn't be capitalized. same as when you write: ..my daddy vs Daddy, can you..
- "So. I was riding on.." ---> So, *
- "I'm sorry. Santa." I whimpered." ---> "I'm sorry, Santa," I whimpered.
- "X-Mass" ---> X-Mas
- It is not proper grammar to begin a sentence with a conjunction, such as: and, but, or.
- "gave him the fiver" ---> Fiver is not a proper word. You may speak like that but you don't write that way and if you do, it would only be used in dialect between characters. The same rule applies for "boozer."

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

109
109
Review of Letters  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Electric Pinapple Art!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was it flowed beautifully and naturally.

What I liked least about it was... Not a single thing.

What stood out to me was it was short and sweet and had a ton of feeling and meaning in a short time.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

110
110
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello bkies!! Thank you for sharing your cute short story with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.


You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

The characters were believable for this type of story and they were likeable.

What stood out to me was the font, layout, format, et cetera stood out to me immediately.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

111
111
Review by Dominique
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello C. Yarn Weaver!! We meet again. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was it flowed beautifully and naturally.

What I liked least about it was nothing

What stood out to me was the color and layout, which drew me in immediately.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

112
112
Review of Saving You  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello LadyLeo!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

I did notice one place where it needed a comma. Funny enough it's the very beginning of the poem. I believe it should say Oh, *

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was it flowed beautifully and naturally.

What I liked least about it was - nothing

What stood out to me was the font and layout of the poem. It drew me in immediately.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

113
113
Review of Young Men At War  
Review by Dominique
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Harry G!! Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I did notice a few grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!
I did not notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that.

"has broken out south verses north" --> out, South verses North
"Now former friends.." ---> Now,
"...Today a ceasefire..." ---> Today,
"..all hostilities while.." ---> hostilities,
"..patrols a town each.." ----> town,
"For a short time on this day,.." ---> time,

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was the poetry form it was written in.

What stood out to me was link to your ten books, congrats!!!

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

114
114
Review of Famous Last Words  
Review by Dominique
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello !! Thank you for sharing you _ with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.
or-
I did notice some grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!
I didn't notice any spelling mistakes.

Small errors that I noticed:
"...she pleaded," Please dad.." ----> pleaded, "Please
"...the rest of the family as they drove..." family, as

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

115
115
Review of B.....  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello Miss Chevious!! Thank you for sharing your work with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I did notice quite a few grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit!
Some (not all) mistakes:
"When we hung out for the first time He made.." ---> he should not be capitalized.
"I knew tho, in the back of my mind I knew" ---> I knew though*, in the back of my mind,* I knew.
"He confessed his love fast." ---> He quickly confessed his love.
"back with an I love you." --> back with an, "I love you."
"But did I truly love him?" ---> A sentence cannot begin with a conjunction.
"and he said them at the right time." ----> He said all the right things, at the right time.
"or my feelings he changed" ---> my feelings, he changed
"never mine," ---> mine.
"stories never mine" ---> stories, never
"never listened when I talked" ---> when I spoke
"Right so what he had was what?" ---> not a proper sentence.
"Come on dude" ---> Come on, dude.
"the bad ,and the" ---> bad, and
"the good, the bad ,and the ugly and you" ----> the good, the bad, and the ugly. You

et cetera...

I did notice some spelling mistakes. Specifically, "tho" is spelled though.

I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

Examples of sentence reconstructing:
you wrote: "When we hung out for the first time the attraction was there." You could say something such as: The first time we we're together, our chemistry was evident. and then go into detail how but using the SHOW DON'T TELL method.

The characters we're believable but as a reader I want to know details, descriptions. I want to be able to picture who I'm reading about.

What I liked most about your writing was you could tell it was personal.

What I liked least about it was there was a ton of short sentences, such as: "Something new." and "Getting to know him." First of all, a sentence cannot consist only of - getting to know him, wanting to know him. Those are not proper sentences. I suggest adding to your sentences, get more descriptive.

What stood out to me was a lot, lot, lot of mistakes.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

116
116
Review of Dame Frolicsome  
Review by Dominique
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello C. Yarn Weaver!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was it flowed naturally and freely.

What I liked least about it was nothing.

What stood out to me was the font, colors, poetry form, etc.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

117
117
Review of Sick  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Mercedes Dilorenzo!! Long time, no talk.. not. haha. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words again! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

The characters were believable and heartfelt.

What I liked most about your writing was the realness about it. You could feel the emotion while reading it.

What I liked least about it was nothing. the font.

What stood out to me was that this was written assumingly a long time ago and it's written well.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

118
118
Review by Dominique
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Fivesixer!! Thank you for sharing you poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was the message behind the words.

What I liked least about it was the font.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

119
119
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! this is great. I've written more this week because of the contests and games going on than I have in a long time.
120
120
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello !! Thank you for sharing you _ with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice many glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.


I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

The characters were believable.


You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

121
121
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello !! Thank you for sharing you _ with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I did notice an abundance of grammatical errors in your writing. I suggest going back over your writing with a fine tooth comb and remember to edit, edit, edit! I was going to type them all for you, but it was far too many, I'd be rewriting the entire thing.
I did notice some spelling mistakes, as well.

A small, select few grammatical errors:
"..he needed to find out for sure so he" ---> he needed to find out for sure. He..
"questioned Club Soda to no one in general" --> questioned Club Soda, to...
"Perhaps these are not tears" --> Perhaps, these are not tears
"Surely they know the truth because didn't all mounds of knowledge hold a salty grain of truth or something like that?" --> Surely, they know the truth because all mounds of knowledge hold a salty grain of truth.
"wondering indeed how" --> wondering, indeed, how
etc...!


I suggest going back through your writing with a thesaurus, they are our best friend! Avoid boring, dull language. Get rid of overused words! It would truly improve your writing to spruce up the wording a bit.

What I liked most about your writing was the creativity of it.

What I liked least about it was all the mistakes.

What stood out to me was the amount of missing commas. I suggest studying about commas online!

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

122
122
Review of All So Clear  
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there Keaton Foster: Know my hell!! Thank you for sharing your lovely poetry with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was that it flowed naturally and freely.

What I liked least about it was nothing.

What stood out to me was the appearance of your poem - the font, the emojis, the format of text, etc. It caught my eye from the start.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

123
123
Review by Dominique
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Eleanor Willow!! Thank you for sharing your chapter with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

The characters were believable.

What I liked most about your writing was it kept my attention

What I liked least about it was nothing

What stood out to me was the picture doesm't work

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

124
124
Review of Love and Regrets  
Review by Dominique
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello again Prosperous Snow (Neva)!! Thank you for sharing another of your awesome poems with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job. Although, in the last stanza, on the first line, you wrote "I saw you setting with you new love," Did you mean to write, "I saw you sitting with your new love,"? or possibly settling with his new new?

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was I could feel the true emotion through your words. Also, I liked the poetry form you wrote in, a-b-c-b, where the second and fourth line of each stanza rhyme at the end.

What I liked least about it was.. nothing. Maybe just that one word mentioned.

What stood out to me was it was very heartfelt.

You held my attention from the first sentence until the very end.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

125
125
Review by Dominique
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Mr.Thos.Crown has $ & Cars, luv!! Thank you for sharing your article with me, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! Keep in mind, I am not a professional, my suggestions are just that, suggestions. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right for your writing! Any suggestion I make is done with love and a desire to simply help you become the best writer you can be.

I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, which is awesome. Nor did I notice any spelling mistakes, you were on point with that. So great job.

You had an excellent word choice, avoiding boring, dull language.

What I liked most about your writing was very informal and a great review of the TV show, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

What I liked least about it was I started to lose interest and attention in it halfway through and had to force myself to keep coming back to it.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 18th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*

181 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 8 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mindexplore4/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5