This had such a cool twist and it left me with questions but because it was nonsensical but because the ending leaves so many possibilities! Were they a part of the movie world and unaware? Did the killer and his intended victims from the DVD get transported to this world? Was their connection to each other the DVD player? If so, it makes me wonder if it's a possessed item, like something from the old Friday the 13th series (the show about the shop that was searching out old, evil items.... not the movies starring Jason.) Anyway you slice it (pun intended) I really liked this one. I wish you the best of luck with it as your contest entry. :)
1.5 stars for this? I think you were trolled or perhaps that person had just had a horrific break up and talk of love makes them want to scorch the earth... In any case, I enjoyed this poem. I loved the line: "Can yield the truest, most gracious sense of joy, " I love the way it flows in that stanza as well as how it brings forth a sense of a graceful jubilation. The one thing I must confess is that I am not a big fan of the second stanza. I understand what you were conveying with it but it almost seemed like prose that had been chopped into smaller segments. I think maybe a little wordplay might do wonders with it but that is just me. As with all critique take what you find useful and throw out the rest.
Thank you for sharing your lovely poem with us all.
I really enjoyed this work. It does make me wonder, considering the vampire did this often, if he ever grew weary of having to answer the same types of questions and give the same kind of shtick over and over. I guess some folks just never grow out of that phase in which they play with their food. ;) I honestly did not find anything wrong with this story but I do which the conversation had lasted a bit longer.
I really enjoyed the build up and the named Mingo the Mad was sheer awesomesauce. You did an utterly fantastic job setting the tension but I (and I mean this as a constructive critique) found that the ending didn't match the build up. I think something more descriptive would have worked well there. Also, I found a typo for you: comfterable.
Thanks for sharing your story and keep up the great work!
Good job in capturing my interest enough for me to want to know what happens next and learn more about this fantasy world. You also have me wanting to find out what the 'fall' is. The only bit of constructive criticism I can offer you is that at times Uzzers broken English is a bit too broken for me to make out. Keep working on it. I look forward to reading more. :)
Hi. This poem is quite good. I've always been a sucker for emotionally provocative poems. My favorite part is:
"you left me unadorned
left me in the shadows"
but I'm not very keen on the last line. Perhaps I am just a stickler but fade into empty rather than emptiness just sounds off to me. Thanks for sharing and keep writing :)
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