As Promised babe! Sorry it's coming on Monday but we had vehicle issues and to tell you the truth I had Saturday all to myself and just couldn't bring myself to get on line. My house was quiet, there were no men, and I could do what ever I wanted! Doesn't happen much in my house.
And on with your review!
The most feared of all damned to Purgatory, the 7 Sisters of Deadly Sin, tend to stay locked away in their domicile, surrounded by all their most prized possessions. This is a complex sentence, it made me read it a few times. If the reader has to go back and read it, it's instantly disrupted the flow of your story and the readers attention. I get highly annoyed at passages like that. I have a strict rule about rewriting other peoples work so I won't suggest anything here other than you study it a bit and maybe rework it. Luxuria, or Lust, spent her days locked in her bedchamber with her adorers. Gula, or Gluttony, preferred to stay in the kitchen, alone with her own meals, wine, and expanding waistline. The twins, Avaritia and Acedia, more commonly known as Greed and Sloth, spent their days together; I love semi-colons! Greed fawning over her possessions, Sloth only watching from her chaise. Invidia, also known as Envy, could usually be found watching Greed from the doorway, her jealousy nearly driving her mad, and Superbia, the face of Vanity, was never without her mirror. However, one sister, the oldest and most feared, had no particular object of affection. Ira, mostly called Wrath, could never be seen with anything long before it had been smashed. In fits of angry rage she would tear apart anything given to her, so upon looking in her chamber you would never find anything more than a clawed and beaten mattress, often stained with blood and tears. This is a LOT of information packed into one paragraph. I like the creativity of what you have. I like the characters and the traits you have given them, I just don't like how, *searching for right word*....crap. I just feel like I'm kinda in history class and the teacher is going "This is so and so and they did this." I might suggest maybe some dialogue to break it up? That way it doesn't feel to lecuturey. 
This particular morning, as the fiery skies of Purgatory brewed, I like this imagery! a hesitant knock came to the doors of the 7 dear sisters. Envy, being the only sister who was not currently absorbed in herself, was forced to tear herself from her jealous rage to answer the door. This is a great scene, and the only reason I point out what's wrong with the sentence is because I have a horrible problem with this also. I sometimes study sentences for hours trying to figure out how to fix it. You use "herself" twice and then the word "her". It seems really repetitive and although in some situations it can't be avoided, sometimes you can rewrite something so it can. As it swung open, she laid her narrowed eyes upon a miserable-looking sinner with a stone tied to her back. A smile played across her lips as she watched the pitiful girl suffer for a moment with the weight; all the vain were sentenced to never be able to stand up straight again. Envy felt immediately empowered, for the girl was much prettier than she, provoking that green feeling from the pit of her stomach. The sinner raised pale blue eyes, stuck in her permanent bow. "Virtues..." she spoke shakily, in obvious fear of the Sister of Sin, "Seven virtues, they've come to Purgatory. Taking back sinners, forgiving their mistakes." At this point, the girl fell to her knees under the weight of the rock, and was obviously hoping her punishment would be revoked for helping the Sisters. As it was apparent the girl was done speaking, the door was immediately slammed in her face, followed by a moan of suffering and disappointment. Summoning her sisters, she called them all by their true names, signaling a serious situation. One by one the sisters filed into the usually empty parlor, aggravated and clutching mirrors or jewelry. As the story was retold, each Sin grew red faced and unsettled, except for one. The only emotion shown from Wrath was absolute joy; finally she would be able to take out her anger on someone, something besides her possessions, and be able to keep things like her sisters. Stepping forward, she broke the nervous silence that had filled the room. "Well, sisters dear, why these expressions so somber? If these Virtues," she spoke the word with disgust, ",these fools think they can free those damned to Purgatory, let us show them who reigns here." A smile spread harshly across her face as her pep talk continued, "Let us show them what the Deadly can really do." Quick dialogue lesson. You have realistic dialogue, just a formating thing. When someone speaks you start a new paragraph. You should have several through this scene. I didn't correct them because I wanted you to do it. (my son hates this) so you can learn it. 
The Seven had been convinced, their anger emaciated by their eldest until they were as ruthless as a threatened mother bear. This is a great image! You're really good at that! As they rode deep into the mass of sinners, higher on the backs of their horses than those on ground, they showed no mercy toward the damned. All sinners called out to their Mother Sin, those of Envy, dunked in freezing water, those of Lust, mounted to a wall of fire. The Vain were all bearing heavy rocks on their backs, the Gluttons being fed toads and snakes, the Sloth being thrown into writhing pits of deadly snakes. The worse of all punishments were those of Greed; being burned alive in oil, and of course Wrath, being dismembered alive. The usual screams of fear and agony from the dismembered were absent today, no one screamed Wrath's name in disparity. The Sisters drew closer to where those sinners of Wrath should be, but instead found a very different situation. Seven men, each looking extremely out of place in the harsh settings of purgatory. The sinners, most missing limbs or appendages, all gathered around them in desperation for their purity, most crying and begging, clinging to the men like needy children. As the sisters approached, Wrath pulling ahead, the sinners cowered behind their Virtues, using them as a wall between themselves and their Mother Sins. Ira was outraged, her black, pupil-less eyes scanning each one of her damned, then the man protecting them. A sickeningly sweet smile slicked across her lips and she slid down from her obsidian horse, turning on one man in particular. Review lesson on dialogue formatting! "Well, I heard you had come for a visit...you are, the Virtues, are you not? Well then, welcome to Purgatory." She lifted her hands up slightly and rotated, showing off the fiery hell as if it was a new home of hers. "I am Ira, the Mother Sin of Wrath, and I believe you have already met my naughty little children." She smiled down to the tortured sinners, as a new mother might to her infant, causing them to quiver in fear. "I'm going to have to ask you to let them be, naughty children must be punished, don't you think so?" She held up her hand to signal the question as rhetorical, and continued on her one way conversation, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Upon the man's turn to speak, he straightened from pacifying an armless sinner. "My sincerest apologies, and forgive me for not coming to meet with you sooner. I am Patience, and these are my Brothers; Chastity, Abstinence, Liberality, Diligence, Kindness and Humility." Each sister eyed a certain Virtue; oddly enough, they all seemed to have a complete opposite. Wrath stared quite interestedly at Patience; her own personal counterpart, until he continued to speak, "Yes, yes, I have certainly met them all. Actually, we have met some of all of our children, and have to disagree with you a bit. In all due respect, some do deserve a second chance, do they not?" He smiled attractively, but it only phased the threatened Mother for a moment. "In some cases, yes, but we are the 7 Deadly Sins." She held her hand out to introduce each sister, as if he wouldn't have already known their names, "Vanity, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Envy, Gluttony and," she brought her arm slowly to her side, "Wrath. We are not to be tampered with, we play no games, and give no second chances." She stepped forward, shooting a menacing look at her sinners. "Eternity is a very long time, love, and I'm afraid these little dears will spend it right here with me."
Patience and his brothers didn't seem to be phased much by her harsh words, as if they had planned everything out ahead of time, and her spite was just a part of the plot. "Of course, of course, no power in Purgatory can match. However, if you would allow us to only take seven from each Mother, we would most certainly find ways to make up for the loss." The sisters seemed intrigued, and he took the chance of continuing. "For the lovely Vanity, we offer a mirror, but a mirror like no other. This mirror enables the viewer to capture the essence of themselves, and in turn, have themselves in the mirror as well as out." Vanity's eyes lit up at this, what could the Mother of all Vanity love more than to be able to converse with herself all day long? "For Greed, we offer a full chest of pure gold coins, as well as for Envy, so she is not left wanting. For Lust, we will give seven candles that will never burn out, so she will not have to leave her adorers in the middle of the night for new. For Sloth, the finest of silken bed sheets, for Gluttony, one hundred bottles of wine and a ready-made meal." He turned to Wrath, smiling gently, and she noticed the light dimples in his cheeks. "For you, the Mother Sin of Wrath, we offer an unbreakable vase; a possession that can handle all abuse and will never break, it will be yours forever."
The sisters were all quite enchanted with the idea of their gifts, and most readily willing to give up seven out of hundreds of their children for. Wrath was the only one who kept her composure, cutting off her starry-eyed sisters as they offered up their damned. "We will consider your offer, but how do we know you are telling the truth? You could very well take our precious children, and leave the distraught Mothers in mourning. You will meet us in our own very I think you can scrap that extra word. home at dusk, and you will have the items mentioned with you. Only then will you be allowed the custody of our little sinners." She spoke her last word scornfully, eyeing the damned as if they were a stain on a new dress. another fabulous image! I LOVE IT! She turned and mounted her horse, backing up ever the slightest. "If we happen to accept, and we find more than seven of our eternal slaves gone, you will learn just how Deadly the Seven Sins can be."
* * * * * *
As the Purgatorian fire skies dimmed, the sisters sat impatiently in their bedchambers, awaiting the arrival of the seven gift-bearing Virtues. Simultaneously, seven knocks landed on seven doors, and seven doors clicked open. Seven virtues stood at the doorways of Seven sins, guarding seven damned and a gift each. Seven gifts were exchanged, and as promised, seven Virtues were given custody of the sinners. At the end of the night, however, only six of the virtues had left. The brothers noticed the absence of Patience, and although were slightly worried, had decided he could handle himself, and really did have to bring their sinners out of Purgatory as quickly as possible. And so Six Virtues and forty two sinners left Purgatory that night, while Patience stood calmly in the doorway of the Mother of Wrath.
She nodded to him in greeting as she opened her door, but held her hand up at his offer of a gift. "Not so quickly, my little Virtue. Come in, let us talk." She held the door open for him, motioning for him to enter, which he did without hesitating. He surveyed her room as she surveyed him, noting the softness of his stare, and the lushness of his lips. Breaking the silence, she smiled slightly and held out her hand for the vase. Obediently he placed it into her grip, and as a test, she threw it roughly against the wall. It clinked loudly, but rolled safely back to her; scarlet surface completely unscathed. The sister smiled, resting the vase on a legless tabletop she had been keeping away. "I've been wondering, as a concerned mother, what exactly my children are going to be used for?" Patience smiled, quite attractively, she thought, and dove into a deep explanation, "Don't worry, Ira, your children will be quite safe where they are going. The Virtues are hoping to recruit more who believe what we do, and hopefully, where we are from, spread a stronger impression of purity." A pained look came across his face, and Ira felt her heart pang a little; such odd feelings he was giving her. A Mother Sin never really knew love, in fact, they thought of it as more of a fable than emotion. Wrath's thoughts sprung back to the situation when he continued speaking, "Our Earth is becoming more and more damned, we are sending more people to Purgatory now than ever before. We just want to save it, my brothers and I, but we don't know the message to spread."
Wrath's strange emotion was beginning to overcome her with every word he spoke, until finally she reached forward to grab his hand, silencing from his speech. "You may take my seven, but there is one last gift I find myself wanting more and more each moment." The Virtue nodded, looking at her intently, focused completely on getting his seven. Slowly, the Mother of all Wrath leaned forward to meet the Virtue of Patience in a kiss, such a forbidden kiss that it sent a gentle spark through both bodies. Two opposites meeting through a symbol of love was such an absurd thought that the Powers of Purgatory were not prepared. Through the dark night, the Sin and Virtue caused the fiery skies to cease their thunder, and the tortured souls of all sinners were soothed. There was silence and stillness the night that love was in the air in Purgatory, and for the only time in history to eternity, the Mother Sin of Wrath held no anger.
* * * * * * * * *
Nine months into that new year, the Virtue of Patience made his second trip to Purgatory under extreme news. A baby was born to the Sin of Wrath, a baby that was claimed to be a Virtue as well. How he had longed to see his Ira again, but without reason to go back, he was forbidden. Now, as he made his way toward her bedchamber, his cheeks grew hot with worry. What would happen to a half Sin baby? It would not be wanted in Purgatory, it would be refused in the Heavens. Where was his child to go?
He knocked gently, and from the voice of his lover he was welcomed inside. He laid his eyes on her, covered in her bed and cradling a baby, smiling upward at him. Rushing to her side, he stroked the baby lightly and lovingly, smothering her in kisses. After a few moments, the happy reunion was cut short, for his face grew somber. He explained his troubles, wondering what was going to happen to their child, and where it was to be sent. "I have had the same thoughts since this morning," she agreed, nodding seriously, "and I may have a solution. The baby will not be taken in Hell nor Heaven, but Earth is a place for our child. Our baby, neither sin nor virtue, will be named Pāx, or Peace, and will spend life away from his parents for his own safety."
Both parents were distraught at the concept of living without their baby, but it was quite apparent that this was the way it must be. Nobody could know, for baby Peace would quickly be hunted down and killed. The forlorn parents cast their baby carefully into a hidden part of earth, far from the harm of ignorant mortals. As Patience left baby Peace, he quietly promised that one day, he would be recovered. When the virtues spread their message of purity across Earth, when humans truly understood the weight of their actions, baby Peace would be freed and allowed to pacify the hate in humans. To this very day, the Virtue of Peace is hidden somewhere in our own very world- just waiting for the good in people to find him.
Once you get to the meat of the story your style is strong. I wasn't going to nit and pick at each thing I mentioned in the beginning. I find that annoying when reviewers do that. Makes me feel like they didn't think that I got it the first time. Now, to summerize!
 Your dialogue formating but that's a really quick fix!
 Some of the wording you use, and sentence structure. Just something you may want to revise.
 You definately have a distinct voice, one that is easy to read and makes the reader comfy. That's something you definately want.
You have superb imagery! I loved each one. They were so vivid and dead on I found myself smiling like a proud mother! <- Like that!
 I LOVE THE IDEA OF THIS PIECE! The idea of balance and that balance comes from a merging of good and evil. The yin and the yang! Brilliant!
So there it is babe! I hope this helps you! I can't wait to read more of your work once you get it posted! Email or IM me if you need anything!
Molly
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I like your opening paragraph. In the first sentence you have efficiently set the scene for us with out telling us. We know she's at sea, on a boat, in a storm. Very well done. 
I have a slight problem with this sentence After a hot and blissful July, they spent these last few weeks either arguing or simmering in silence. She didn’t want it to end like that. She didn’t want summer to end at all. It's fine here, but at I go on it seems a bit misleading. The fact they have to share a room and are uncomfortable with it denotes that they haven't really done much, or slept together yet or haven't even acknowledged those feelings for one another. But in the sentence above it seems that they're in the middle of a lover's spat rather than a budding romance, did they break up? are they sick of the sight of each other? It seems a little out of place. I just think I would clarify a touch and make sure there is no misinterpretation because it will distract your reader from the purpose of your piece, for them to get lost in story.
