*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mountaindove3
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of sunny days  
Review by KRounds
Rated: E | (3.0)
HI. I enjoyed hearing your memories of the ocean when you were a teen. I found it interesting how you went into a day dream because of the way the sun shined on you on a particular day. Isn't that the way it is with all of us? You mentioned in your story that you wished that you had known the passion that had grown in you while you were a teen, but I think you did know, and that is why the memory was so strong. Thank you for sharing about the emincity and beauty of the ocean. The only suggestion I have is that instead of saying, "I think to myself," you could somehow convey your thoughts without using those words. In other words, put your thoughts in italics to let the reader know it is a thought, instead of telling us. I like the way you describe the beach and the waves. Good writing! ~Kati~
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mountaindove3