You have a nice idea here but I think the story gets a bit muddy. I think that the suspense and mystery could be a little stronger. The fact that the ghosts, and ghouls wonder if humans exist could be a plot twist instead of what drives the story. You could also make the characters seem more like humans by not even mentioning the fact that they are supernatural until the end. I think this would make the story a bit stronger in my opinion. This is still a good first draft and with a little revision it could be an amazing story so keep up the good work.
The start of the story was great! I was hooked in and really compelled by way you described the setting. The ending felt a little weak and there were a few spelling errors though. I also wish it was just a bit longer an had a little more character development but other than that it was a good read.
I like the idea that it was all in her head, but I noticed some grammar mistakes and verb tense issues. I also think that it could use more suspense which would draw the reader in more. The little man could be a little more vague of a villain type character, and the story never explains exactly why the little man would have acted any differently if the girl did look at him. Overall I like the concept though.
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