I am here to review from the History League!
I really love the title which perfectly suited this piece, 'Reality's Penalty.'
The first and second stanza was depicting the men who built the massive structure.
I felt the third stanza was true about the age of confidence and how reality showed otherwise.
'Construct the walls and act as though
the walls can never fail.'- Yes indeed, a fact they neglected.
This was lovely read that retells the story in a more realistic manner.
I am here to review from the History League!
This is a nice dedication to the tragedy that happened last year.
I was kind of confused with this piece though.
I understood what you were trying to portray but the break in lines seemed so abrupt.
Did you follow a certain form? Do let me know if that is so:)
The words that were used was appropriate like, 'explode','smoke','confusion' and 'hysteria'.
It mildly built up a tragic atmosphere of the situation.
The changes you did with this poem made it fabulous and breathtaking!!
I am in love with this piece!
'shooting stars only serve to remind her
of ships that sailed' -This new line seem to make it more beautiful.
It reminds me of the girl reminiscing her past.
You have emphasized on the gladiolus that blooms. Wonderful way to make this piece more profound I must say.
I had to clear my rating of 4.5 to give it a 5! I think this piece deserve a perfect score:)
This poem is so unique. When I first read the title, I thought it would be something to do with the land or something.
But it was actually about oneself.
The words that were used here were perfect, 'damned my soul', 'empty shell', 'fumes', 'carcass', 'unforgiving sun','secrets' 'fair oasis' and 'implode'.
What wonderful imagery it created.
It really made me dive into a middle of desert and bump into that traveler.
'The fumes that rise from my carcass'- This line made me imagine someone who have been famished after a long and torturing journey. The first verse took me off guard really.
The second verse is where the poor soul met with the traveler to ask if there is anyway she can revive herself.
The third verse portrays that she continues traveling alone.
She was hopeless as she concluded that her heart will corrode as she allows herself to deteriorate inside.
Beautiful. I just loved this piece.
I did not notice any technical errors and neither do I have any suggestions as I just love the way it is written.
Even though this was written in free verse, there was a rhythm to it that flowed smoothly.
I hope I interpreted the poem the way you wanted it to be perceived:)
Thank you so much once again for giving me a chance to indulge in your art.
This is a lovely poem about all the birthdays that you have celebrated with your love ones.
I love how your described each of them with such simplicity.
Five birthdays in two days is indeed quite a celebration and loads of fun!
I enjoyed the positive vibe and the joy entangled in the words.
I am honored once again to do this review for another beautiful poem of yours. Thank you for giving me the privilege.
'Pearls' is a elegant title given to this piece and I loved it.
The imagery you used here was definitely very profound.
'As she pirouettes atop a bed
of gladiolus blue,'
-The start of the poem itself made me imagine a dancer who is in her ballet costume.
She is tip toeing on her bed in her ruby pointed shoes.
I am not sure if its a technical error but I suppose you meant "pointed shoes."
I could not find any definitions of "pointe." Please correct me if I am wrong.
The next few lines created vision of a peaceful night with the melody of the night birds.
I felt that separating "nightbirds" into two words would seems better.
But that is just my opinion.
My favorite line, "their song plucking her heartstrings."
This was such a inspiring line. Totally loved this one!
Your word choice has been very wise and carefully picked like, 'moonlight's lustre, pirouettes, gladiolus blue and heartstrings.'
All of these made your poem an unique one.
Now I would like to say the cryptic part about this piece is the pearls.
I was wondering what would it be referring to.
I suppose she is wearing them as the she danced the night away.
From my perspective, maybe it meant that one day those precious things will fade away.
I could not really comprehend otherwise.
Maybe I over analysed the simplicity of the vision in my mind.
But I just loved what you made me imagine.
It was very serene and enchanting in my humble opinion.
All in all, you made me fond of your work again that comes from your immense creativity and passion.
Wow. Just wow. This is so damn beautiful and deep. I felt the agony entangled in the lines and words that were expressed. This is written in a free verse which was perfect to express in the most profound way. There were a certain sad music tuned to this piece and it made more heartfelt.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
It was indeed a wonderful read:)
This is a beautiful prose. I really loved how intense and deep this was portrayed in.
The imagery used was fabulous.
You have successfully showed all the wild emotions evident in this piece that happens with crushes.
Words like,'epiphany', 'palpating' and 'stoically' made this piece quite unique.
Thank you for sharing this with us:)
Keep spilling the endless ink and write on!
This is such a heartfelt poem. I really felt the agony behind the words.
There was this genuine supportive and comforting lines that sooth me
I did notice any set meters so it is written in free verse which gave the maximum expression it deserved.
Overall, the piece was simple yet so subtle.
Came across this poem from a click of the random review.
Wow. This was such a beautiful and sensual poem.
LOVE the choice of words!
Thank goodness you wrote the meanings of those words.
Its always great to have poems that does magic with a few words.
I am so happy to stumble across this free versed poem. It very much depicts what most writers goes through time to time.
The disease of doubt. We have all been there and faced that.
This poem perfectly depicts the insecurities and misery when that phase hits us.
This few lines intrigued me:
"To the writer,
and the constant shadow that follows him
looming in his words,
and lurking in his pen,
self doubt is the poison, living deep within."
This is such a beautiful poem!
I loved the spiritual depth to it.
It was indeed heart warming to know God is with you always and everywhere you go.
I also loved that you wrote it in free verse and made sure it flowed smoothly from one line to the other. Bravo!
Your poem, 'Broken', made my heart ache. I felt the agony behind each word that you portrayed.
The rhymes were so perfect and I felt every verse flowed so smoothly.
You are a wonderful poet:)
I felt the emotions that you were trying to express and you did it well.
I totally loved this poem.
A perfect poem for all poets to relate!
I think many of us wonder from time to time what type of poems to write and in the end resolve to free verse.
In my opinion, free verse allows you to convey your emotions more efficiently rather than other types of poem. I usually get so worked up to find the perfect rhyme and in the end forget about the inspiration that made me write a poem in the first place. Haha.
Anyway, I hope you are enjoying you r time in this lovely community!
This is a lovely poem. You have written it in free verse and it flowed quite smoothly from one line to the other.
I noticed something about one line, correct me if I am wrong.
'They're all the alive' - this sentence seems a bit funny to me.
Other than that, I do agree that deep within us there is always a flame that burns like an immortal candle.
I stumbled upon your poem!
And decided to give you a review.
Firstly, a warm welcome to WDC.
I hope you will have a lovely time in this beautiful community.
I felt your poem was simple and subtle.
The message you were trying to portray is really nice. Indeed a man who does not know how to colour his world is a man we hardly know.
I feel that you have that spark to unveil more of the hidden art within you.
So never stop writing.
I found this poem in the random read! It reflected of a couple who lives in the same house yet are far apart due to some negative issues.
It portrays a relationship that is at the edge of breaking down.
I loved the choice of words as it created strong imagery. It was written in a free verse that did justice in expressing the sorrow at its best.
This was absolutely remarkable. So deep and strong. I loved how you described about the unwritten things and the last lines of the poems left me speechless.
You are a fantastic writer who is able to express in an unique way.
My favorite lines:"Now, I will gather the encouraging voices like dandelions,
tie them together in a circle,
and wear them like a crown while I write my words,
and nothing will stand between me and the unwritten,
between me and the written I have left unshared."
Those lines were beautiful.
I am so glad i read this. The strong imagery worked so well here.
Oh my. I was just taken miles away from this city life I live in and was gently brought to somewhere near the coastlines.
My love for nature is immense and I absolutely loved how you made justice to all my senses within this remarkable poem. This is just wonderful and I shall sincerely give an award for this one. It deserves more than that. I am so glad I read this.
I was just going for a random review and came across your beautiful poem. It was indeed very deep and felt the passion entwined in each and every line. The imagery was very strong as I could picture the whole story before me that was portrayed in a poem.
"Death replies silently;
“Wait,” his voiceless calm emits.
Eternal laws bind him,
and my pleas, futile."
I loved this stanza~
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem with us.
This was a wonderful read! I enjoyed the perception of the origin of love(:
Indeed love is just a fact at the end of the day!
In addition, Welcome to WDC! I hope you are having a good time so far!
Firstly, welcome to WDC. I hope you will have a wonderful stay in this fabulous community where you will get to meet amazing writers!
I have read your poem and it was lovely! I can totally relate to this as I did had a hard time completing my diploma in Marine and Offshore Technology. Something that I had no interest in. This poem can be a source of motivation to anyone who is struggling to make it till the end!(:
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.35 seconds at 9:51am on May 05, 2024 via server web2.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
A review from "
My review has been submitted for consideration in "