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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nagems
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Nagems
Rated: E | (3.0)
I think you have a great theme to the piece. I think the beginning and the end are the strongest parts of the poem. The middle seemed a bit lost and didn't have a rhythm or flow to it.

I'm not sure if you wrote this from personal experience or if this just popped into your thoughts but I like it.

2
2
Review by Nagems
Rated: E | (4.0)
Omg!!!!!!!

-First off, I did not expect that ending. That was such a plot twist. Also really gross on so many levels but I think that's a good thing!

-The poem flowed in different places but it felt a bit choppy.

-The second and third stanza are my favorite and have a great rhythm.

-i will defiantly have this piece stuck in my head for a while
3
3
Review of Mom and baseball  
Review by Nagems
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!
I think it's wonderful that you are able to share these memories with everyone! I lost my grandmother who I was extremely close to a few years ago due to health issues and I understand how hard it is share these memories or to talk about it.

-I think your voice flowed through most of the piece. You described the memories so beautifully but in some areas of the story it seemed like you were trying to use a wider vocabulary that seemed a bit out of place.

-I think this has to be my favorite line in the piece. "a budding love affair in its infancy".

-This is a great piece!
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