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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/noratdnal
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3 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Best  
Review by Norat Dnal
Rated: E | (4.0)
Pretty good story my man! I like the idea of putting so much detail and pasion into something as mundane as bowling! I also liked the characters, they really seemed like the kind of people you would see at a bowling alley, which was very cool. However i did notice that you repeated a few words too often in quick siuccession, and the dialogue between characters could have used a little freshening up. But besides those small things i thought it was pretty cool. I can actually see Judd Apatow making a good movie of it, with Steve Carrell and Will Ferell as the leads! Keep up the good work. Also, as soon i get it published i'll defiantely send you a signed copy :) See you later
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Review by Norat Dnal
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Your story, although compelling, was held back slightly by grammatical and spelling errors, and some somewhat rough dialogue. I felt that the story moved too quickly to effect the impact its subject matter deserves. If you take some time to improve on these small flaws, i'm sure that you could use your ideas to better effect; It definately comes across that you have put alot of thought into your narrative. I think that this story has the potential to develop into a more complex piece of fiction. So try to improve on these points, and i look forward to reading more of your work :)
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Review of Fairmoon  
Review by Norat Dnal
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really liked your story. The way you described each particular scene allowed me to picture the action in detail. I felt that was very well done, however the story itself suggests to me that you might be a Warhammer fan :) But that's not a problem; it means you ahve good taste. Besides that i really enjoyed your story. Keep up the good work. I'm new to this site and still working on my own story. I hope you will take a look when i finnaly post it (and be brutally honest!) :)
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