I guess when I looked at the title I failed to notice the genres and I thought that this was going to be some sort of essay considering it also has a hook.
It wasn't. It was really just rambling, and when I read it over again it sorta seems like a person took their standup performance and put it down in a written format. The format is strange and unnatural and the writer kind of bounced around in an incoherent way.
No explanation for what specifically made the author laugh and spit Coca-Cola out of his nose. Despite the name the work there isn't an explanation or answer to the question, just attempted rips on Clint Eastwood for being old and republican.
I remember when this interactive was owned by another person, they were kind of prudish and for whatever reason communicated via chapter titles but were still good at writing nonetheless.
The current owner is great person and a wonderful author, even though this interactive isn't as popular as it was back in the day they still put in effort to keep it running and are very generous with people who add onto the interactive today.
The current owner isn't afraid to try new things and is great to work with.
Interesting concept and at least there is a tad bit of background and proper grammar which is always good.
However with the dialogue there is very little description to go along with it. Nothing about how the words and sounds were made, nothing about body language. With Feezza making the sounds it doesn't really show her expression or feelings to portray the words that the human character is translating. A physical description of the characters and setting doesn't exist and even for a short story they are important. "Methuselah" is brought up but no explanation is given for who that even is, but maybe that isn't really that important. The word choice for Feezza's dialogue is strange and feels off to me but considering I don't really write wild animals in my works that might not be something I have the right to criticize.
Good concept and grammar is great, just need to add some other ingredients to go along with the dialogue.
The owner is incredibly dedicated and definitely knows what he's doing when it comes to his work. It is honestly a shame that not many other people add to the interactive despite the owner's own writing skills, especially compared to some other interactive owners. While I don't read every chapter that gets put up on this interactive, each one that I end up reading that was done by the owner is an enjoyable read.
This is alright, even without rhyming the poem at rhythm to it and it told a neat story. The grammar is pretty good even if that isn't as high a priority when it comes to poetry. Nonetheless, I still enjoy proper grammar greatly no matter the context. I am mildly confused about the formatting before and after the poem, and the fact that October is spelled wrong but that's not even part of the poem itself.
I'm not even into diapers but since this is one of the few Once Upon a Time interactives on the site I decided to check it out. Even though it's over 200 chapters, literally ever single one is an option chapter. No one wanting to step forward and actually write a real chapter. Just continually people adding on more details to the start of a storyline but without the actual story. It's disappointing really.
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