Wow! What a great story. The prose immediately drew me in and I could easily see the characters. I can see that Mina is a little more callous and Claire having less self esteem. That dastardly Mingyu, will eventually be fooled by Claire's inner strength, but how much havoc is he going to wield until then? Who knows?
Your writing style is descriptive without being heavy handed and leaves a lot to the imagination, which gives a reader an opportunity to be surprised when we're right or wrong about a character. So far you've given us little glimpses into the great-aunt's history, her khaki's and dusty mythological books. That she had trapped a diabolical evil spirit, who thinks he can actually reprise his empire, in a jade necklace. Brilliant!
It's hard for me to find negative feedback, first of all because this is not a completed story. I'm not the best editor, so the puntcuation and grammer seems fine to me. So the only fault I can find is that I can't finish this darn story tonight. So hustle up and finish. Chop Chop!
Hello C.J. I have to say that you're a very good and descriptive writer. So far your first chapter is very interesting. I like your description of the island and the backstory of the sylph's. Because this is only a portion of a chapter, all of the characters aren't fleshed out. I'm waiting to find out how Thomas and his associates came upon these fae.
If I hae any criticism, it would be that the story up to now seems very familiar. Fae, vampires, and shapeshifters - all seem very True Bloodesque. But I still think it's too early to judge. Maybe more backstory on the Sylph's could kind of separate the commonality.
Anyway, I'd like to become a fan to find out what else happens in the story.
"Learn to attend to the grace." What a great line! This was a very good story because the author didn't preach, nor moralize or try to convince the reader that some activity was necessary. She simply shared a life lesson that worked for her and maybe also could work for me. It was thought provoking and the characters were fleshed out and interesting. I didn't feel that I needed to judge them, because their falls were described without fault or blame; just choices that they'd made. The tone was inspiring and honest. I truly enjoyed this story.
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