Healthier food choices is a good thing. Too bad theculprit in your story didn't think of that starting a new regime with a few choices, in an attempt to set her family on a healthier food diet.
In an attempt to slow the alcohol consumption, she could have announced "Bar Closed" so enjoy your last drink to friends and family, that may think to drive. Any that were already intoxiacated, hand in your keys, you are staying here the night.
A few spelling or typo errors found
dumpuing = dumping
headedness = no such word = headed would have been a better choice
Well done. We are born to die, the survivors are left to mourn and so they cherished the memories of dear friends or loved ones. Better to have loved or known true friendship, than non at all.
I rated you a wee bit above the average. Why? Because this is a great little episode of life's quirking events. If this short story was a wee bit longer, it would make the story more valuable for higher rating.
Perhaps you could say "I sleep like a log or I stuck some ear plugs in to avoid any annoying noises from the party next door over, or what ever, just lengthing it a bit!
Great story of overcoming abuse as a child, it really does haunt a person. If one is strong enough to leave the child behind, new opportunities open in life, and the past is just that, the past. Sometimes, the past can make one stronger and more understanding of others in similar circumstances. As an adult [no longer a youth]. I liked the part that she finally got even with the brute of her past, thus freeing her soul to be open and loving.
Does it have to be all one paragraph?
Or perhaps you could split in two. Example below:
His mouth opened and closed like a predator at a feast. His eyes stared hungrily into mine. He was a lion, proud of his capture that was unimportant to anything else. I was the prey; the poor captured antelope left for dead by his pack. Although my teacher ate at me, I was not dead yet. He tore at me with “Late, unprepared, insubordinate, unnecessary, unwanted, humiliating”. His words were vicious teeth that I was unable to stop. [But] - Remove the but I could not take much more; his attack was too vicious for one person to endure. He was eating away at the foundation of my self-control, when something took over.
>
>
I raised my hooves, yelling back my pitiful, but effective defense. He stepped back with a face of anger and wonder. I heard the beast growling as I left the battleground. This was no victory; he was merely stunned, but I gave myself enough time to catch up with the pack. He had tasted my blood, so I know he will be back for a second attempt, but I could at least enjoy myself for the few moments of peace I earned.
It sure is amazing the pain little dogs, seem to overcome. I will have to check your portfolio to read part two but in the mean time, I have rated this
article.
[cosmetic surgery]
You said "It is becoming an addiction!"
I think it is because the Baby Boomer generation is aging, who have been subjected to the media alot more so than previous generations. The alarming statistics show many have been afflicted by many eating disorders in all attempts to be thin. All thanks to fashion guru's, movies, sitcoms and the media.
Hopefully, past mistakes,of the BB Generation will make the following generations of people much more wiser, ignoring the above mentioned media's and concentrate on healthier life style choices.
Beauty is a person's charater, their action, speaks louder than words.
[cosmetic surgery] Has it place for burn victims or other accident victims or life threatening ailments.
Just my humble opinion.
The aroma of tangeries sure does bring back, wonderful memories of Christmas's of the past.
Such a delightful reminder of your grandparents too!
You did have a few typo errors in one paragraph. I will highlight them in the paragraph by bolding the correction:
Under the tree there was a would ={woodenset [of the] manger that my grandpa built. The building was very large. All of the figures were small. All except the angel, who was totoo tall to fit inside the manger. She had to stand on the roof with her arms spread wide guarding the Baby Jesus as shapersshepards and wise men visited the stable.
Thought I'd point out a typo error - I bolded in red.
“Then pony up boy, and get outta town
cos that dead ol’ fool’s got friends aroun'.
They’ll even the score and that’s afack, typo error
so keep yer eyes open and watch yer back.”
Wild Bill . . .
This is a great moral telling Christmas Story.
After 32 years, my cherished Christmas ornaments, now adorn my daughter's tree in her first home. Hand me down decorations to keep as a rememberance of our Christmas's of years gone by.
The Christmas ornaments, were hand me downs to me when I first started a family, thus it is only tradition I suppose, that she have them now.
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