This was an awesome story, and has an awesome message. I love your writing style, it really drew me into the story right away and kept me interested in what happens next.
I like the simplicity of the flow, as the entire story is about a single conversation between two people, but there is so much depth and emotion. I was able to feel many of the emotions that the characters felt, and it helped me understand each character on a deeper level.
The story had a great message, and I love that you are sharing that message here. Things are not always what they seem, and things are not always so simple.
The only things I would mention is that I didn't feel like I understood Avi's rage very well, and I didn't get a good sense of the relationship between Avi and Arya until much later on. Perhaps a little more description of what scars their aunt left them could help readers understand the character better?
But overall, great story and great read, thank you for writing this!
I agree, but only to an extent. I agree with you that people can be both good and bad for you, because there are so many aspects of your life that a person will be influencing, they will most certainly have mixed effects, despite them being overall "good". However, it's also hard to simply categorize people as "good" or "bad" because it's all a matter of perspective. This person can be the nicest person to you and be not so nice to everyone else, but to you, they appear more like a "good" person, while to everyone else, they appear more like a "bad" person.
I also agree that it may not be prudent to trust someone or depend on someone easily, and I agree that parents will almost always be there for you when others abandon you. But some parents abandon their children too (especially very young parents), and sometimes those who do not have close relationships with their parents or whose parents are not supportive gain support from people like their friends. I agree that parents can be a great source of support, but I also wouldn't count out everyone else because sometimes, you need to depend on someone who is not your parent, and sometimes, you need someone who relates to you more to listen to you.
Anyway, I'm glad you wrote this because it's not that "good" people are good and "bad" people are bad, but the "good" people can be bad and even the "bad" people can be good. Nothing is that simple in life, especially when it comes to human relationships.
I was definitely able to get the sense of urgency from the situation from reading this story, and I honestly felt a tiny bit of anxiety after reading this since I want the character to get healed! I could almost feel the grapple with death that the character has.
With that being said, I would have liked to know a little bit of background information, since this is more so the "climax" of a story. What were you doing in the bean patch? What was Siebert doing in the bean patch, and why was there a snake?
There are a couple grammatical errors as well. The first sentence "I saw the snake it was too late" lacks punctuation and a connecting word, "I saw the snake, but it was too late". Another sentence "My brother Siebert ran to me fast, as he could" sounds a bit awkward, perhaps you meant "My brother ran to me as fast as he could"?
Otherwise, this was a short story but it gripped my attention for sure, I hope the character lives!
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