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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/origamidragon
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Review of My World  
Review by origamidragon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the overall message of the poem. I like the first line the most because it is not something I would usually notice. Also, the lines "One sense gone - The other strengthened" is nice and in my opinion flows very effectively. I like the fact that you used "by my side" instead of "At my side". I may be the only one how care about some things are portrade by words. But by useing the word "by" I think you project a sense of fellowship. With useing the word "at" it project a sort of duty or it could be used to refer to an object or non-living thing.

You could mabye going through what the person feels, like the texture of the leash, or the rhythem of walking.

As for the title, you could call it a world unseen, but that could take away from the exprence of putting the pieces together and finding out that the person is blind with a seeing eye dog.

Also I am sorry for misspellings, I am not an avid speller
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