This was quite simply, almost perfect. I like the phrasing, the rhyme and the rhythm. I can almost here it drumming out a steady cadence as I read it. And the twist, well, I did not see that coming.
So get up in the morning and enjoy your drink.
Seventeen years, that says it all. Keep it up.
As I began to read this story I thought, oh god not another CSI story, I moved the mouse to the back button, while still reading. The introduction of poetry and the psychoanalytical annalists of the poetry kept me around for at least one more paragraph. Great work writer, the introduction of the layers, as well as inviting the reader to thing along with you was quite a refreshing difference. I usually read a lot of these actually reading to find the end. This was not the case your story, writer A+. By the way, the poetry within the story, also entertaining.
Why a 4.5 and not a 5, well none of us are perfect!
This is nothing to do with this story but more of a statement of personal belief. As far as grammar… Was the grammar correct, did it have all the periods and commas in the correct place? I don’t care! I did not even pay attention. I read for enjoyment that is it. It seems as though a lot of stories take a bad turn during editing. I really wish more would just write.
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