Hello! I'm reviewing your poem because you had an account birthday this month.
The free form of this poem is beautiful. I love the way short lines connect with longer ones to keep me on my toes while reading and yet still flow so well. While not rhyming, per se, there are still several times where words sound similar enough to catch my attention and I think that adds something. Asking questions within the context of the poem gets me thinking and has me relating it to my own experiences. The final stanza really leaves me with the feels.
The only thing that stood out to me as in any negative way were the random words that are capitalized. I'm not sure exactly why you call attention to them that way but it was a little distracting for me and took something away from the overall feel. This is just my experience as a reader, though, and might be different for others.
Hello! I'm reviewing your poem because you had an account birthday this month.
Now this is the life... It sure would be nice to have a day like this every once in a while. We might not want to advertise National Goof Off Day too heavily though, or our bosses will catch on and our "sick days" won't work so well. I'm glad Jenny's did! A day at the beach sounds like the best way to celebrate it.
I can't think of anything that would improve this piece. There's no grammatical errors that I can spot and it's very well written. It was a great, short read and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!
Hello! I'm reviewing your story because you had an account birthday this month.
This is a super cute story! As a step-mom of an almost-four-year-old, I completely understand how important stuffies are. I can totally see this happening. It's written in a believable way that makes me laugh but also cringe for both Rainbow Bunny and Chloe.
I can't see anything that you could do to improve this piece as it's quite adorable and very well written. The dialogue was especially well done. I enjoyed it very much.
Hello! I'm reviewing your poem because you had an account birthday this month.
I can relate to this poem and I think it's written in such a way that it relates to a lot of people. You're right that everyone has a "something" and this poem accurately describes a "something" without being too specific. Instead, it accurately describes the effect that the "something" has on a person, which seems to be pretty universal.
The way you avoid punctuation and even capitalization even seems to add to the vague-ness. I'm not sure if this was done intentionally but it works well.
There are some things I noticed as I was reading that may help add to or improve the poem. Whad do you think?
The line "laughing and teasing you so" seems a bit forced. It's longer than the other lines and the words "and so" used only to make the rhyme work with the line above.
The word "resite" should be "recite".
I think "rumbling" would be better as "tumbling".
You don't have punctuation anywhere else in the poem except for periods at the end of each stanza. I don't think they are necessary and they seem a bit out of place.
Hello! I'm reviewing your item because you had an account birthday this month.
You were right. This letter helped me realize that I'm not alone and they are words I hadn't realized I needed to hear. I think a lot of people can relate to this and most need to read it at some point in their lives (even if not right now) to understand that it's okay, and sometimes necessary, to write out the ugly feelings that we sometimes feel.
This is written from the heart and I thank you for sharing what is obviously so important to you. Your friend is lucky to have such a strong supporter and I hope they decided to write out some of those doom and gloom feelings.
I do feel like a quick check through auto-correct may help find a few errors but it doesn't detract from the overall feel of the letter so please don't feel it's necessary to "fix" anything.
Hello! I'm reviewing your story because you had an account birthday this month.
I felt this girl's pain as she went about her grandmother's bedroom. It was very easy to relate to and sense her grief. I immediately felt as if there were something she would learn about her grandmother in her room but did not know what or how. I feel like you brought her grandmother to life in a subtle way at first and then shifted the story to her very well once the box is found. One way you do this is with well-rounded description.
There are just a few things I think may help add to or improve the story. For example, the first sentence includes a double negative that makes it very hard to read. You write, "she could not remember ever having not known." Instead, you could write, "that she seemed to have always known."
Also, because you use "her" and similar words before "Grandmother" and "Mother", they don't need to be capitalized. They are no longer proper nouns replacing their actual names. You can use "Grandmother" or "her grandmother" but not "her Grandmother".
The use of commas is a bit confusing at times, leading to some run-on or incomplete sentences.
As far as the story goes, I feel a bit let down that there wasn't more of a reason provided for why she didn't actually go to Australia to see this person. If there were letters and poems describing her love for him, why did she just stop? Why didn't she follow through on her plan to see him? The reader needs to know why she was heartbroken all those years. Was it by choice?
I really enjoyed reading this piece and I thank you for sharing it. I hope my comments are, in some way, helpful.
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