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Rated: E | (4.5)
Awww... :) This is kinda cute. I have to be honest- it DOES sound like a love-struck 12 year old girl, though I bet that's what you were going for. However, I do still like this. I do like the fact that you didn't capitalize each and every line (that drives me insane when people do that).

I'm not sure, though, that I like the rhyming bit in the last part, with "name" and "rain". Because there is no rhyming pattern before it, it sounds out of place when read out loud. Ya might consider changing that around.

This is a piece that any 12 year old oughta be proud of... or that 12 year old's more grown-up counterpart. :) I think you did a good job. Don't be ashamed to show off the things you wrote when you were a kid. I know I still have some of my stories from the 5th and 6th grades. Reading those in a few years will show you how your style has developed, and how you can continue to grow as a writer.

Thanks for putting this up! I enjoyed it.

Take care, and keep writing.

Peace,
Raymond
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