I liked it. If I were in a debating society I choose to read this to kick off what I can only assume would be one hell of a discussion.
I personally can't find any fault with your writing so this isn't really a review as much as a I-like-what-you-did-with-this kind of message.
In my opinion this is a really emotive piece without the language being to flowery, so credit to you for that. I'm particularly turned off of writing that tries to disguise its lack of feeling or skill by using over the top language.
If you don't mind me saying I wouldn't necessarily label this an essay, it seems more like a blog entry.
I also really like the use of Emily Dickinson, very apt and poignant as a prologue to your essay.
Your essay is well written and easy to relate to, as I am sure these feelings expressed are some that almost everyone in school has felt to some degree.
On a side note, if this is autobiographical I would like to say, especially pertaining to the third paragraph, where you write: 'I don’t feel as smart as everyone else in my classes, I don’t feel as well-rounded or sophisticated', that no one who is unsophisticated or, for want of better words, not smart, could write or express themselves as well as you do. You likely put the rest of your peers to shame in how well articulate intense feelings.
I like what you have done. I had no idea there were so many variations of the sonnet form and it encourages people to find the poems so they can see the difference between them and introduces them to different poets. I like to write sonnets now and again but I'm stuck in the Shakespearean rhythm, I will definitely be using this list as a guide so that I can branch out.
Well done.
Its a good start. I find it hard to even finish a page if the first few lines don't prove to be worth my time.
So I would rate that as a good beginning and I would be intrigued to read on if the rest of the piece kept the same pace as the beginning.
The only critique I have is of the last bit of dialogue. When I was reading I assumed the 'I do.' was said by the unknown man but its a little bit unclear as to who makes that comment. If it is the unknown character of the piece I would suggest you use some kind of indication to make it clear who says it.
I enjoyed reading it, great job!
I’m not great at writing reviews but I think your short essay was very good.
The ideas are very interesting and it would be great to see it expanded and made into a full length essay, given a strong thesis statement, well-structured paragraphs and backed up with research from other critical and literary sources.
I think you could write a fantastic essay.
Good work, well done.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/putoutthelight
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 12:31am on May 01, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
