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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Call of the sun  
Review by R.A.W.R.B.O
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this a really beautiful piece of writing, you described the scenery well and used a lot of good describing words. I enjoyed reading it because I just hopelessly love fantasy ^_^ A really good piece and it's a great idea for a story
2
2
Review by R.A.W.R.B.O
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
This is a really good poem, it has a good flow and good rhyming words and it's structured good, but now I want to think of words rhyming with 'elves' x)
3
3
Review of Visions  
Review by R.A.W.R.B.O
Rated: E | (4.0)
I loved this piece, it's was very intriguing and an excellent cliffhanger, I liked the whole mystery of her foster parents have a secret and she has a secret power that no one knows. The end was amazing! I'm sorry if I'm seeming over dramatic but I really did love it. Especially when she just got a friend too and now Lucas has trapped her!!

As much as I loved it, I spotted a few problems I hope you don't mind me pointing out:

Grammar:
I went into my room I changed into my pijamas and went too bed.
*too bed
She said she could do some extreme travelling too see if I was really in danger.
*to see

Spelling:
Once they are gone I am going to look thru the basment.
*through
The dreams aren't stopping witch worries me!
*which
Since my foster parents don't live neer my old school im starting in a new school.
*near
*I'm
The class’s I am taking there are farely decent.
*classes
*fairly
Finnaly someone understands me.
*Finally

Sorry if that sounded picky but when I'm reading and see a spelling mistake, I don't know why but it kind of nags me and I think by improving your grammar and spelling it would improve your writing.

One last thing I didn't really understand:

Never, ever, had she had one in a dream. So maybe I guess I would just have to go with faith. I’m not going to run off without a trace if I’m not even certain why I’m running away. For all that is possible it could just be that she was paranoid and still grieving upon what has happened in these last two months.

I thought you were writing your story in first person (your character telling the story) but then it changed third person (narrator telling the story).

If someone has already corrected you on this then I'm sorry :) But overall I seriously loved your story. I hope you write more of it! I'll check out your portfolio too :)
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