I have read the story of Lisa Lansing and this is her words perfectly. A dark poem describing the hell and torture this poor child endured. It's very descriptive and bluntly honest.
As far as poetry form, it doesn't flow as well as it could with the stanzas being so far apart syllable wise. It's well written as far as the words go however.
I love this poll! I think this is hilarious. As a mother of three boys (ages 11, 8, and almost 6) I voted for "You'll always be my baby" because I tell them that all the time! How about, "I don't have a favorite. You're all my favorites." Or one I have to use all the time that really goes with the brush your teeth is "Did you put on deodorant?" THREE BOYS, OKAY?
General review: One of my new favorite poems. I wasn't used to the style but grew to love it for the meaning. Absolutely awesome and should be on the desk, vehicle, billboard, TV station of everyone everywhere. Stop closing your eyes to the truth! Awesome. Well done. Adding it to my highlighted items
This is one of my favorite things about writing.com. I love participating in some of these polls. There is no rhyme or reason to this but yet it's kind of thought provoking. I was actually weighing the pros and cons of each item.
To me, your poll is bittersweet. It's great that 67% have said yes but that means that (so far) 33% are either saying no or they aren't sure. I'll never understand what straight people think we will be taking from them if gay marriage is legalized. Will it make your marriage less valid? No. It'll just make our rights equal.
It's a beautiful, thought provoking poem. You did a great job with description on this. I'm not usually a big fan of rhyming poems but I think you wrote this one well. My only suggestion is in the stanza
{The Lily is most angelic,
Admired by all.
It’s petals reach toward the sky,
With pride it grows tall.}
Admired by all seems like it should be a longer line.
I thought you did a good job with your story but it was a little hard to follow at times and you had a few grammatical errors. However, it did give me a good insight into college life since I didn't go to college right out of high school and live in dorms. Good job and thanks for the experience.
I chose other because my favorite place to write (and to read) is at a bookstore with a coffee shop. A big one, a small one, it doesn't matter. When I had my laptop, it was one of my favorite things to do is to sit in a big comfy chair with a pastry and a cappucino and write on my novel at the bookstore. Now even without my laptop, just to be in that environment is an inspiration. You get quiet, you get to watch people, and it's just comfortable. To be around people who have the same love for words and books you do is comforting.
I was diagnosed as bi-polar first by my wife (my then girlfriend) and then by a doctor after her..suggestion. I hated the fact that I was diagnosed by it and still only tell a few people whom I trust because of the stigma attached to it. I am on medication for it and no one would ever know that I was bipolar (unless they lived with me without meds).
It actually gives me some hope for America that 41% so far voted that he's a moron. What might actually be scary is if he's NOT a moron and knows exactly what he's doing and is consiously aware of the stupidity, bigotry, and hatred that comes from him.
I love it, I love it, I love it!! I want to print it and give it to each of my children who complain daily about having to eat vegetables and drink milk. You did a great job with this story. It reminded me of a mix between the Oompa Loompa's in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the songs they sang and a Shel Silverstein poem. Excellent!
I love this poem! I think that this would make a great children's book. I can definitely see this as an easy reader or a book for little kids. You did a great job with description. The only thing I would change if you did decide to make it into a book is the phrase "cacophonous tunes" but for a poem that adults will read, it's beautiful.
Wow that was some dream you had. What did you eat, drink, or smoke the night before to come up with such a detailed, great idea. I think you have a fascinating and interesting idea for a novel here and I personally would love to read it. If I read this as a description for a novel at a bookstore or online, I would definitely be interested in reading it. It also sounds like it would be a great movie. Have you considered a screenplay?
What an excellent poem. I really liked this and think it's very inspirational. Where did you come up with the basis for this? I love it and it's something that I (with your permission) would print off and hang in each one of my kids' rooms as well as my desk. Excellent.
Excellent job. I can almost hear my wife saying these words to me after a particularly bad time we went through. I feel almost as though I should write a poem in response. Being on the other end of the spectrum, he/she is sorry and regrettful and loves you. They realize their mistake and live with the guilt every day. They want to prove their love and trust to you and show you they can be worthy and honorable. Just believe.
Wow. Such beautiful lyrics. This was nicely done. I particularly like the ending that the person is given another chance to cherish life. It reminds me of a song that one may sing after a suicide attempt that they immediately regretted. Excellent and successful.
A very sad, realistic, disturbing view of child abuse and abduction. You did an excellent (if not haunting) job of portraying the horror that the child went through and that she was only one more in a long line before her and unfortunately after her as well. Good job.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What encouraging, uplifting words. I am proud of you for your courage. I came out at 26 and always wished I had made that decision sooner. I lived the way I was supposed to live according to society and now I live the way I was created to live by God. I am happy and blessed and people like you reaffirm my own pride all the time. Welcome out, Sister!!!
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